So now what's the plan?

The Twins have traded Delmon Young and intend on offering extensions to both Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel. Word on the street is that the Twins intend on fielding an outfield of Ben Revere, Denard Span and Cuddyer, probably with Kubel as a DH. Here are my two primary issues with this plan.
1) The Twins since moving to Target Field should have learned that it is a death trap for left handed hitters. So what do they do? Bring back Kubel and insert Revere, a lefthanded hitter who can't freaking hit anyways.
2) They are throwing a ton of money at Kubel and Cuddyer. It hasn't come out yet how much since the contracts aren't actually in place yet, but they will be throwing a ton of money at them. The problem has been the pitching, and it's been depth, and it's been the lack of right handed bats. Signing Kubel and Cuddyer implies that they think the offensive woes can be immediately solved if Justin Morneau comes back healthy. Everyone else has been more or less healthy that will be back next year. They couldn't win, even with Mauer, Casilla, Nishioka, Valencia, Span, Kubel and Revere healthy. I may be a little brash when I say this, but Nishioka, Valencia and Revere are terrible at the plate, more specifically when they are compared to other players at their position, particularly Valencia and Revere, if he is a corner outfielder.
So what do they think? Suddenly a lineup that features 5 lefties and 2 switch hitters will suddenly be able to hit in a left handed hitter's nightmare? Of course, it's not all bad. I have stated frequently that the emphasis on speed was a mistake, but only when the emphasis was on the infield. Target Field is a pitchers park, and a spacious outfield meant the team would benefit from speedy outfielders. Flyball pitchers are going to love this outfield. Scott Baker is having a great year, and with Revere and Span out there, he will be even better next year. Kevin Slowey will love it to -- oh, wait. They wasted money on Nick Blackburn, so even though Slowey is the superior pitcher, he won't get the chance.
As for the rest of the pitchers, Brian Duensing has actually shown the most promise, as his strike out rate has gone up and his ground ball rate has gone down. He might yet be of service! Nick Blackburn, however, has never been good. Maybe as a back of the rotation starter, but he shouldn't EVER block someone like Slowey. If Liriano can reign in his control, he may be redeemed. Carl Pavano doesn't strike anyone out but has prevented opponents from hitting home runs. I don't trust him.
So by my count, if the Twins want to win next year, they need to add 2 or 3 arms to the rotation. They also need to reconstruct a bullpen, especially since Joe Nathan and Matt Capps are free agents.
So what does this leave the Twins to work with? They will have a lot of big contracts for players that haven't worked together this season. They have a shaky rotation. They still won't have a bullpen. They don't have much by way of infield prospects. They have hopes pinned to a guy who hasn't been able to perform in a year and a half. They have next to nothing.
Jason Kubel should have been traded at the deadline. A lot more money could have been saved and more holes patched if Kubel and Cuddyer aren't brought back. The farm system would have more and better prospects as a return on Kubel. Whatever the plan is, it's either beyond my comprehension or simply isn't very good.

Reflections on the Delmon Young trade

I planned to post a well thought out, analytical post on the trade. I succeeded. The second half of this post, a reflection Young's tenure and treatment in Minnesota was not as successful. Prepare yourself for some extremely foul language.
First and foremost, it is obvious (and may have been stated already) that the Tigers claimed Young on waivers. This is the only reason Young was sent to Detroit, of all teams. Secondly, despite some claims, it seems as though the Twins may have had some interest in keeping Young next year. If not, if they had intended on non-tendering him, why not just let the Tigers make the claim? Instead, they nabbed two players for him, albeit mediocre minor league relievers. For the Twins, this makes next season's outfield situation a bit clearer. Span and Revere will likely play left and center, while, if the Twins are able to sign Kubel and Cuddyer, I suspect a rotation of Kubel, Cuddyer, and Justin Morneau will rotate through right field, first base and the DH spot. The Twins will probably finish 5th in the AL Central next year.
On an even more depressing level, the Twins have no turned Matt Garza AND Jason Bartlett into Jim Hoey and Lester Olivares, (as well as 2 other minor leaguers (Brendan Harris was moved to the Orioles with JJ Hardy, so that's why Hoey is included)). Fun fact: Lester Olivares is Spanish for Jim Hoey. I was a staunch supporter for the past few years, but I now have to say that Bill Smith is nothing if not terrible as a GM. Bad manager, bad management. Thank goodness for Terry Ryan leading up to this disastrous season. And next disastrous season.Which I have no doubt but that it will be unless there is a drastic, dramatic change within the organization.
Now for the part that children should probably refrain from reading.
I am extraordinarily troubled by the Delmon Young era in Minnesota. There are reasons from A) the inability for Ron Gardenhire to develop a right handed hitter, even one with immense potential (Michael Cuddyer is the ONLY exception) to B) how Young was completely and unabashedly hated in the Twin Cities, from bloggers like Nick Nelson to dumbfuck columnists like Jim Souhan. Even the Star Tribune decided to editorialize a little bit on his departure.
Through his career, Young had two really bleak stretches. When the Twins acquired him, he only had one year of Major League experience. 2008 could have easily been written off as a sophomore slump, were it anyone else, like, say Danny Valencia (this year, OPS+ 86, Young in '08 100), but in fact, Young had IMPROVED from his time in Tampa, and besides, Young is a big, scary, unsmiling black man with tattoos on his forearms.
In 2009, Young had his toughest stretch to date. Not in baseball, but in life. His mother passed away, and between visiting her during her dying days and then the certain emotional torment of a young man losing his mother, he struggled through the first two months of the season. Of course, instead of attributing his struggles to the psychological torment, he was branded a failure already. Despite limited playing time in June and July, he managed to rack up a batting average of .300 with 11 HR to finish the season.
2010 was really his only uninterrupted season. He was traded before '08, his mother passed away in the middle of '09 and this year, he was saddled for the first time with injuries. Young showed that he was improving in 2010. Without being disturbed in his seasonal arc, he overcame his typical slow start and ended up playing his way into a top 10 finish in MVP voting.
This year, he had another slow start, but this time he pulled an oblique, and was sent to the DL early. Still, despite what people might say, he came back extremely strong. Since that first injury, he has hit .306 with 13 doubles and 4 home runs. Hell, his OPS this month is .986.
But I am the only person you will here give Young the benefit of the doubt on anything. No, you have Souhan talking about how lazy he is. You have Nelson complaining about that one time he misplayed a ball in the field. You have Dave Schwartz suggesting that there has never been a good part of the Delmon Young experience. Why the fuck am I the only one who will ever stand up for him?
I never heard any problems with Young in the clubhouse. I never heard anyone from the Twins organization speak ill of his work ethic. And the Twins team is one, to their credit that will suss out lazy players. Why would the Twins put up with him for 4 goddamned years if he was lazy, or a bad presence in the clubhouse? I mean, they traded Garza for that reason. Kevin Slowey has been in Rochester for that reason. There is no tangible evidence that he has wrought problems in the Twins clubhouse. The only real evidence of his attitude is that he through a fucking bat one fucking time when he was a fucking teenager. If I was held accountable for everything I did when I was a teenager all the way through my 20s, I would be in rough fucking shape.
Why did Delmon NEVER get a pass? He was a better player than Cuddyer at the same age. He's a better player now than Danny Valencia. He's a much better overall player (right now) than Ben Revere. Is it all about his salary? Or is it something more sinister? I suspect something of a blend of the two, but I will leave it to your own interpretation.
Part of the reason I have always been on Young's bandwagon is the vitriol he received from others (the opposite reason -- undeserved praise -- is why I was so hard on guys like Nick Punto). But you won, you unrelenting shitbags. Your complete lack of patience and understanding won out. If there is any solace for me, it's that now, when Delmon Young strings together healthy, uninterrupted seasons and becomes the player he can be, you dumbasses will only hate him more. If anyone beats the Twins, I hope it's him. I hope it's the guy that everyone doubted.

What happened to the Left on Base stat?

I remember old box scores in the info section, in the midst of the 2bs and HRs and SBs and what have you would also list LOB, or rather, how many men a batter left on base with two outs. It was a simple, easily countable statistic, though flawed like many others. High Heat Baseball 2003 used it, I remember. A mediocre online scorebook I use from time to time uses it. I was curious about it and was going to incorporate it into a made up statistic I was going to use here, and I didn't think digging up those numbers would be an issue.
Well.
I looked first at baseball reference. No luck. I looked at Fangraphs. Still no luck. It's one of those stats that isn't really all that instructional for telling you about a player's worth, so I thought those two stat driven sites may have eschewed it. Certainly MLB, ESPN or CBS would carry it. Nope, nope, nope. One site, Team Rankings only had the top 100 by LOB/Game, which is just strange.
I thought I would re-explore the online box scores. Again, nothing. The player LOB stats no longer appear in box scores. What happened? How long has this been going on? Am I going insane?
Obviously, as I said, LOB isn't REALLY a good estimate of any value for a player, but I do think it is unusual that what was once a statistic is no longer tracked by anyone.

I am being profiled

Hey everyone, let's talk about me for a second!
So here is my string of luck lately. I have had a clean driving record for 8 years. I might move a little quicker than most Minnesotans, but I am a good driver. That said, driving home from work a couple weeks ago, I was pulled over. It was a Friday night and the officer was clearly looking for people up to no good, rather than people who just wanted to get home and feed their dog, so I was left to my own devices and sent on my way. The next Thursday night, wary of the police presence I was driving to a local eatery to meet a coworker after work. I was certain I was driving the speed limit, and a member of the local PD driving the other direction spun around and nabbed me. I said aloud "WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?!" Turns out, I had a burned out headlight. The officer kindly sent me on my way.
OK, so, the next day I had a wedding, then I had to work the overnight at Real Job Inc. I slept in late, went to the wedding, went to the reception then came home to change. After rapidly turning around to go to work, I was pulled over again... and again for the headlight. This is twice in less than 48 hours. Things are getting ridiculous.
Cut to today and my voyage into work. This time, I was definitely speeding, and I saw two squads about a half mile up. I tried to slow down, to no avail. They both pulled out and lit me up. This time I got a ticket. 5 squads, 4 stops in about 2 weeks. I mean seriously, do I LOOK like a criminal?
You know what the funny thing is? The thing that pissed me off the most today wasn't the ticket or the fact that I seem to get pulled over whenever I get in the car these days or even that the officer did me a "favor" by writing me a ticket that saved me a whopping 10 dollars, it was more the fact that I got pulled over by a guy that looked exactly like Kevin Pollak.
I got a damn ticket from Philip Green.

Why I refrain from bashing officials

It's boring. There, I said it. It bores me. There is no analysis involved in talking about how people not playing the game may or may not have made a mistake. Part of the game, in my opinion, is selling yourself to the officials. You get more strikes if you are a more well respected hitter. You get more calls in the lane if you are an aggressive offense with good ball handlers. In other words, don't claim poor officiating, just try to play to them. They are part of the game, so use them to your advantage.
As for yesterday's game between Rutgers and Saint John's.. yes, the refs made an egregious error. Nobody feels worse than the officials, I can tell you that much (as someone who has dabbled in officiating). And you know what? Nothing can be done about it. There can be no adjustments for the next game for either team, and frankly it sets up a better game today. Saint John's is a better team, and Rutgers would be completely gassed coming into today's game. They weren't going to make it to the conference championship, and regardless of how they played the rest of the way, they weren't going to make it to the Big Dance. It's done. It's over. Stop complaining.

Kids are stupid

Just a few weeks ago, Yahoo! linked to something I wrote in 2008 that triggered the craziest comment thread in the history of this site, including someone attributing a Voltaire quote to Peter Griffin. It was highly comedic. It's funnier still when I, every once in a while, get a comment to show up on that thread again (as I did the other day).
I digress. The reason the link came my way was because of the fact that Nike was taking over the NFL uniforms in 2012. Michael Silver suspected that the Seahawks would end up looking like the Oregon Ducks. It was a joke, I think, because, well, he linked to something that explicitly stated that the the Ducks are annoying. This is the common consensus of reasonable, clear thinking adults. The gaudy, ever changing uniforms are unbearable and stupid.
But that's the problem. The jerseys are shiny and new, and shiny and new always attracts stupid people, regardless of whether or not the shininess and newness of said object is useful or important. Oregon has seen a boon to their athletic department, because of a bunch of empty minded athletes who like the idea of glittery wings on their uniforms.
Think about the type of person that attracts. Not worried about tradition, education or even the program, just the fact that they get a shiny, new uniform every game. It attracts morons. If you disagree with me, I have Jeremiah Masoli and Lagarette Blount who disagree with you, just for a start. When they otherwise might have gone to Florida State, they saw a flicker in the distance that caught their eye, and they went to Oregon.
So, I want to boil it down for people from Oregon who might be reading, because they are probably offended: Your uniforms are stupid. Your stupid uniforms attract stupid people. Your university has been dumbed down.  Congratulations on having a football team, though.

Orlando Hudson's bunt

There is no excuse for sacrifice bunting with 0 outs in the first inning. 100% of the blame for Orlando Hudson's first inning bunt gets pinned on Gardenhire, and you cannot move me off that opinion. There are many scenarios for which the decision to bunt Denard Span over to second could have come to pass, but all of them come back and point the finger at Gardenhire.
If the sign was sent in, then it's Gardenhire's fault.
If Hudson made the decision on his own, thinking it good strategy, then it's Gardenhire's fault for allowing such poor baseball strategy to exist in his clubhouse.
If Hudson made the decision because he lacked confidence, then it's Gardenhire's fault for failing to recognize an insecure player at the plate and putting him in the second spot in the order.
If the whole team locks up and makes bad decisions or gets weak in the knees during the postseason, that is 100% the fault of the manager, especially one who is lauded for his clubhouse.
Orlando Hudson has an on base percentage of .338 in 2010. He gets on base one in three times he is at the plate. In situations where there was a runner on first base and less than 2 outs, he grounded into 14 double plays in 108 plate appearances. That's a "double play percentage" of .129. He is nearly 3 times more likely to get on base by swinging the bat than he is to ground into a double play in that situation, just taking the statistics from this year. If you decide that that 13% chance of a double play is too high to risk a real at bat, that is a loser's mentality, and has no place on a team I root for.
Here's the part that kills me. His next at bat, he got a single and proved himself a gifted baserunner. Let's say he DID get on base in the first inning. Mauer strikes out, Delmon Young still grounds out. Now, with two outs, Thome gets beaned and Cuddyer hits his homer. The only difference is that now the bases are loaded. Now the Twins have two more runs. As you no doubt recall, the Twins lost by two. This makes a few leaps, of course, but so does automatically assuming a double play. And all that other stuff actually happened in the game.
Poor pitching hurt against the Yankees last night, but a large part of the burden needs to be placed on Gardenhire getting outmanaged once again. And don't even get me started on Mauer's dive into first.

You're making Joe Mauer look bad!

As I mentioned last month, local radio boob Tom Barnard and his asinine crony Bob Sansavere are saddened by the mere silver slugger performance of all-star superhuman Joe Mauer this season because his RBI total is on the low end this year. Of course, your RBI totals are only as good as your opportunities, and with Orlando Hudson off to the DL, those are going to be fewer.
Now, Matt Tolbert, you are apparently the new guy to occupy the second spot in the line up (though you may be best served at the bottom of the order) so it's on you to make Mauer look good. You need to be on base so Joe can drive you in and Barnard doesn't form a mob to drive the best player on the team out of town for not putting together a silly overrated state!
In all my criticisms of Ron Gardenhire, though, I have to say that he tends to get the most out of terrible players, so maybe you will work out just fine.

resisting

resisting

resisting

GAAAH!!!! butatthefirstsignoftalentfromacrappyplayerheputsthatplayerinthelineupeverydaybecauseheovervalueshustleanditdragsdowntheteaman OH MY GOD GARDY PUT SOMEONE WHO WILL BE ON BASE AT THE TOP OF THE ORDER AND NOT MATT FREAKING TOLBERT!!!! NICK PUNTO IS A BETTER OPTION THAN HIM!
/ passes out

Why I hate the Vikings

If you haven't been reading the Is It Sports? archives, then you haven't happened across something that you might be surprised by. As recently as 2005, I pulled for the Vikings. Now, in case you didn't know, I have a pure and blinding hatred of the Vikings.
Growing up, I was a fan of three teams. 1.San Diego Chargers 2. the Vikings and 3. Indianapolis Colts. I liked the Chargers because they had a coach with my last name, the Vikings because they were the hometown team and the Colts because my parents had come from Indianapolis. As I grew up and most of my friends were Vikings fans, I was absorbed into the fold. The Colts made a huge leap forward thanks to the epic performance in 1995, running through the playoffs before losing to the Steelers in the AFC playoffs.
The Chargers fell out of my good graces when they dropped Drew Brees for certifiable douchebag Philip Rivers. The Colts became "my team" when they hired Tony Dungy, but for various reasons, I had to put up the facade of a die hard Vikes fan. I was the only Minnesotan in my group of Indiana friends. Their success and failure meant congratulations and ribbing from friends depending on how they did.
All that background is to underscore the fact that to hate the team as much as I do, I had to have loved them at some point. Which I did. I'm embarrassed to say it, as much as they are an embarrassment to the state of Minnesota.
So why do I hate the Vikings? Let's break it down.
- The owners indicate that they hate their fans. Zygi Wilf has made it clear that he either wants to plow northern suburbs asunder so he can make money off of a gaudy mall (like the Twin Cities don't have any of those already) attached to his stadium, or move the team. Before Wilf, it was the equally detestable Red McCombs who wanted the team in San Antonio. Just once I would like the team to be owned by someone committed to keeping the Vikings in Minnesota.
- Revisionist history absolves poor personnel decisions. Maybe not poor, but definitely unfair. After three pro bowl seasons on poorly coached and under talented teams, Daunte Culpepper got off to a rough start in 2005. The first 7 games involved three home games and 4 road games, including three against teams that ended up 11-5 on the season. The Vikings lost all the road games, as well as the home game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who also ended up 11-5. In week 8, Culpepper wrecked his knee, and Brad Johnson took over, just in time to face a caravan of mediocre to bad teams. The Vikings won 6 straight, with their week 10 game against the Giants the only victory against a winning team. All three touchdowns were scored by the defense and special teams. Somehow, this was translated as Brad Johnson being the better quarterback and Culpepper being useless, rather than the schedule getting easy, the defense playing better and the offensive line not wanting to lose a second quarterback for the season. Not the only bad personnel move that was later reconciled *cough*brettfavre*cough* but an example that always sticks out in my mind
- Randy Moss, Bryant McKinnie, Fred Smoot, Koren Robinson, et al
- Certain fans, like Tom Bernard are straight up retards that don't understand the game of football. Otherwise, the inexplicable optimism from the fans. Every year I hear that this is the year the Vikings make a hard charge at the Super Bowl and will win 15 games and what not. It would be fine if it stopped there, but so many fans can't find anything wrong with the team. The Vikings are up there with the Timberwolves as being the most flawed in Minnesota, yet somehow there is always abundant pessimism behind the Twins (who have done something in their history and have recent success) and an obnoxious assertion that the Vikings are the best team out there when they have done nothing in their history. Vikings fans are totally unreasonable. It says something when Big Daddy Drew is the most rightminded of notable Vikings fans.
Those are the primary reasons the Vikings irk me, in no particular order. Now anything they do bugs me even more. I can't stand the team, I can't stand Brett Favre, I can't stand that Vikings fans are suddenly OK with Brett Favre. Nothing the Colts do will ever make me hate them as much as I hate the Vikings.

I'm about to sound very old.

Back in my younger days, when I was still in school, teachers would always tell me that I had a gift for writing. After reading this blog for three years or so, I can imagine why you might be surprised. I thought that maybe someday, my gift for the written word would put me in a place of prominence, either as a writer or in business. Alas, instead technology is dumbing down the English language. Instead of appreciating my brilliance, people just decided to get stupider.
Enough. I understand that with text messaging, it behooves us to shorten what we say. That's cool. Still and all, there are a couple of phrases or acronyms that are unnecessary to be texted, and have somehow crept into the lexicon of today's youth. They need to be stopped. The three that immediately come to mind:
"FTW" - If you don't know, this means "For the Win". That's right, someone took the phrase from Hollywood Squares and made it an acronym and put it in everyday use. What bothers me further is that the people that did this were probably only familiar with the Whoopi Goldberg/Bruce Vilanch version of the game. Awful.
"Fail" - When anything goes wrong for anyone, someone has to shout it. It's stupid and I hate it. Bring something new and constructive to the table.
"ROFLCOPTER" - I don't even know what this means. If you put it in a comment, send me an e-mail with it, or say it out loud, I will punch you in the head. If I don't know you, I will do my best to find your IP, figure out who you are, come to you, and punch you in the head.

I'm sure you have more ideas. The internet is full many bad things. Perhaps we can begin to fight back, one grammatical battle at a time.

What are the Twins doing?!

(I will have a much, much angrier screed on the Wild later this week)


It's been widely reported that Delmon Young is "exceptionally available" because Ron Gardenhire is exceptionally stupid a terrible manager, prefers Denard Span and Carlos Gomez. I've made my peace with the fact that the Twins don't like Young, because he is still a developing young hitter who takes about a month and a half to get going, but he doesn't smile and isn't a gold glove outfielder. They would rather build the team around Denard Span, a slap hitter who has already maximized his potential, or Carlos Gomez who can't hit outside of spurts, but smiles a lot and runs really fast. Whatever.
So, here's the thing. They want to trade Young, and I would be surprised if they don't before the trade deadline. What I really don't understand is why they aren't playing him. Young is finally coming around after the death of his mother, and has started hitting, both for power and for average. Not only would his presence in the lineup help the team now, but it would drive up his trade value, so the Twins could actually get a component they need instead of some crap middle reliever, which they will probably trade for straight up.
The only reason I can think that Young isn't in the line up on a daily basis is that Ron Gardenhire is petty and is too dumb to look at things like "numbers" or "strategy" especially when it doesn't involve bunting, So, because he wants his guys in the lineup and has no perspective on the future of the team, he continues to drive it into the ground. Ron Gardenhire is a terrible manager and deserves to be fired for his inability to bring this superfluously talented team to the fullness of their ability.
Wow. That came out of nowhere.

I don't know why this happens

A couple years ago, I wrote a post about Oregon uniforms, and the entire state of Oregon came down on me. When I wrote about how Eric Devendorf is and looks like a douche, all those fans of Syracuse decided to tell me that I'm a bad person. This time, however, it's Steve who has become the object of someone's scorn. Back in September of 2007, Steve penned a piece illustrating his disdain for a certain university in northern Indiana. A Notre Dame supporter issued a timely response on Saturday, that called Steve all sorts of bad names:

You are pathetic. Not only are you absolutely wrong as regards your recitation of history, your perspective is warped by your own blind jealosy. What happened, did you apply and were not accepted? Don't even get me atarted about Purdue - one story concerning the athletic recruitment of my son back in 1995 and the pride Purdue's head coach (track & field) showe when explaining how the Purdue scholarship athletes did not need to worry about classes as everythign would be taken care of for them. This was enough to turn off my son (a stellar and heavily recruited athlete) as academics were important to him. He is now a physician after having competed for four years for Notre Dame and being ranked 5th in the Big East in his event. Purdue and academics do not even belong in the same universe when discussing scholarship athletes. Get a clue.

Pathetic. Absolutely wrong. Blindly jealous. Clueless. Angry blog comments are the best. But let's break this down, shall we? First, Steve, I can assure you, did not apply to Notre Dame. As he mentioned, he went into his college search already hating Notre Dame. He said that, but I doubt you actually read any of his post. You see, Steve wanted to be an engineer, Purdue's forte, not a lawyer or douchebag, which is apropos of a degree from Notre Dame.
Second, I don't understand this whole thing about the Purdue track and field team. Did Steve even mention the Purdue student athletes? No. He talked about hypocrisy in the Notre Dame hype machine. But good that you decided to drag Mike Poehlein's (thats the track coaches name, by the way) name through the mud, even though he hasn't ever been tagged for any violations in 25 years on the job. But you're right, if that's your point. Student athletes aren't always the best students. We admit that, but Notre Dame doesn't. Actually, wasn't that Steve's point?
It's too bad you posted anonymously, sir, because with your mastery of the English language, from syntax to spelling, I would want to know your name, if just so I could avoid going to your son's practice, in case he has your attention to detail.

But back to the title. We here at the Times are pretty easy going folk. I get livid about some stuff, but frankly, I don't have a problem with anyone. Why do so many have a problem with us? I think I'm getting a complex.

In which I get worked up about Delmon Young again

While I was looking for the links today, looking for news on Delmon Young and why he was away from the team, and I came across this article. I understand that many people don't want to see Delmon Young in the outfield. I've made my peace with that. There are many reasonable arguments for it, namely Young is a less than quality outfield, and his power numbers are not where we want them to be for a corner outfielder. That being said, it's things like this that irritate me.
The facts the author, Andrew Scherber, spells out are a perfect example of looking at small sample sizes and going into a situation with a bias. Let's review:

Gomez critics cite his high- strikeout propensity, low batting average (.214) and on-base percentage (.274), and terrible approach at the plate as reasons why he should be sitting on the bench.

But Young's approach and plate discipline are equally as bad.

Well, not even close, actually. Young is hitting .60 higher, and last season, hit .30 higher. I'll give him the next point, about the walks. However in that same sentence, where he mentions that Young leads the team in strikeouts, he fails to mention that they have roughly the same strikeout rate.

Gomez has scored just as many runs as Young, too (10).

The only reason this would be a valid point is if both Gomez and Young got their hits, called "ghost runner!" and then ran back and hit. It's not Young's fault he hits ahead of Nick Punto, and Gomez is often a pinch runner, who gets put on base without getting hits, and gets to be on in front of RBI machines.

In 83 plate appearances, Young has only one home run and even more astonishing: only two extra base hits all year (that single home run included). There are dozens of players in the minor leagues who could hit .270 with little to no power, nothing special.

Again, I would rather have Young, hitting .277, in the lineup than the guy hitting .214. As for the 2 extra base hits, I would like to point out that it's fricking MAY. Barely halfway through, at that. And Delmon Young is a slow starter. He was last year, and ended up being solid down the stretch. Again, maybe Delmon would start getting better pitches to drive were he not batting ahead of Nick Punto.

Argue that you prefer speed and defense over offense, and I have no problem with you. We may differ philosophically, but it's not like either of us are going to change our preferences. Trying to railroad the superior offensive player by using bullsh*t statistical analysis is where I have the problem.

In response to some of my fans

On my way into work, I ran into one of my coworkers who was mentioning that he was a fan of Syracuse. I asked him in a jocular fashion how they kept getting so many scrappy, trashy looking white guys for their team. He said in response, "Have you ever BEEN to that part of New York?" Good stuff.
Anyways, I wrote something on Eric Devendorf the other day. In my opinion, Devendorf is a white trash douchebag. As seems to be the case whenever I write something about my disdain for something, be it Oregon uniforms or overhyped, overinked basketball players, I got a few spiteful comments.
First, let me address the fact that I didn't "do my research" as one commenor said. I'm aware that Devendorf's cronies and his coach who needed him to excel claimed that this was all a big misunderstanding, that whole "hitting a woman" thing. Fine, he's exonerated. Actually, you know what, another college athlete getting away with something upsets me even more. That wasn't the point of the post, however. The point was that I don't like Eric Devendorf. If you would like me to check with my sources on that one, let me do so. Hang on, don't go anywhere.
Yep, still don't like him.
And the argument that he is a loving father? He's 21 years old and still in college. That means that he was probably 19/20 when the kid was born. Is that supposed to show how responsible he is? The dumbest of athletes know to keep it wrapped. White trash everywhere thinks they have some sort of Super Sperm. You can't tell me that this didn't go through Devendorf's head.
In conclusion, for every one of Devo's fans that decided to tell me how ill-informed I am, what trash I am, I say this. In sports, do you love every one of your opponents? I doubt it. I bet you hypocrites talk bad about Hasheem Thabeet or Luke Harangody every opportunity you get. I'm going to keep reminding people that Devendorf leaves every game in a dual exhaust pick up truck wearing a Metallica t-shirt with its sleeves ripped off to chew tobacco for three hours.

Earning my ire

Today I got a letter in the mail from my bank. They needed to tell me that they had tried to send me a new debit card, but it had been returned to them by the post office, with the USPS telling them that they had the wrong address. I had two immediate thoughts. A) Why did this letter get to me? B) They didn't have my address, so they thought to inform me.... by mailing me a letter?!?
Anyways, on the topic of credit cards, the single most grating commercial on my soul during this year's tournament is this number from Capital One:
I hate Spaghetti Jimmy (whose last name is apparently Cardholder) Spaghetti Jimmy Cardholder sucks.

Height makes you smart

I have a pet peeve. I hate it when people who played sports longer than I did claim that they know more about their sport than I do. I hate it when people have the idea that you only know when to play at double play depth if you have played high school ball. Apparently, my poor eyesight also makes it hard for me to parse strategy. Additionally, my lack of jumping ability also makes it hard for me to know how to execute a 2-3 zone.
I mean really, just because I am not a very good athlete (wild, dangerous understatement) doesn't mean that I can't practice logic. I'm pretty good with numbers and I am good at picking up strategy. In fact, I would note that I am just as into many sports as most who play. They spend a lot of their time refining many individual skills whereas I become more in touch with the various minutia of the game.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, this day in age where everyone has access to stats, and so many people watch the game and, frankly, are just as smart, if not smarter than those playing or coaching the game, everyone should have a right to be critical of on field decision making. Leaders of teams have the advantage of knowing how to hone the fundamental skills, but please, don't be surprised if we the fans, the the liberty of critiquing your decision making every now and then.
Besides, I have contacts now, and my hand-eye is a little bit better

Michael Jordan's son earns scholarship

Thank goodness for this. I would hate for a young man, the son of mere multi-millionaires, to have to pay a dime for college. I mean, I did, but my parents aren't famous. The best part? Junior Jordan will be able to use his college degree to net himself a high paying job, or perhaps he will just continue to reap the benefits of his father's success. It's all right though, because I haven't earned as much money as I spent in tuition either. So I guess we have that in common.
Illinois sucks.

Angry Ranting

In the back of my mind, I knew the Twins were going to resign Nick Punto. I think we all knew the Twins were going to resign Nick Punto. I was anticipating no small degree of frustration out of the inevitable signing, because I figured the roster spot could be used better, especially given the presence of Matt Tolbert, essentially a younger, smarter version of the same player.
On that same note, I knew there were plenty of Twins fans that love Nick Punto. He hustles, he's good in the field and he's an all around likable guy. Even then, people that like Nick Punto have to agree with me; his resigning yesterday was absolutely absurd. Let's reflect on a few things:
As it stands right now, Nick Punto will be making more than everyone except Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau and Michael Cuddyer. He'll be making more than the entire starting rotation. He'll be making more than 4 times what another free agent infielder will be making this year. Mark Loretta signed with the Dodgers for about a million dollars, and as it happened, put up much better numbers than Punto last year. And the previous 5 years.
Let me illustrate exactly what it is that frustrates me so much about the deal. On the one hand, the Twins felt Nick Punto was worth 4 million plus a year, despite all evidence to the contrary. They over paid for this specific player after so many years of letting free agents who play positions we are not strong at simply walk away. Or, of course, they use that as a reason behind trades. Naturally, the money isn't the same, but I'm mostly concerned with why we went so hard after Punto. I can't help but think that Ron Gardenhire influenced Bill Smith's decision making. After an offseason in which the team tried to remake themselves into a younger, more traditionally talented team with strong hitters and a talented young pitching staff, the team appears to be reverting back into a team that just hopes it can luck its way into the playoffs again. It's not going to work. Make no mistake, the Twins were in contention this year only because the rest of the division was bad.
The second problem I have with this is that people are going to allege that Nick Punto showed some sort of loyalty. He met, reportedly, with 16 teams! He's making 4 times what a similar (if better) player is making, which indicates that meeting with these teams actually drove his price up. If he was loyal, he would have signed with the Twins a month ago at a similar, maybe slightly greater salary. Geting a 3 million dollar raise despite 2 more seasons mediocre (generous) seasons indicates that this offseason, he was out for the money. If he even tries to say that he stayed with the Twins out of loyalty, bullshit. I say bullshit. He was saying it would be hard too leave the Twins this offseason, but not that hard, if it took 4 million dollars a year (in a RECESSION!) to keep him here. Of course, I've long thought Punto wasn't that smart, so maybe he does think that this is loyalty, fleecing his team like this.
So, in short, the Twins made a terrible error, both in baaseball terms and financial terms, and Nick Punto is jsut plain terrible, as a player and now as a teammate, inasmuch as he will prevent the team from spending extra money on someone who might help. Oh, and this indicates that the Twins intend on his starting at short next year, which will mean abysmal offensive production, until someone steps on his face sliding into first base. Of course, then he'll just be a waste of money, instead of a waste of space.

Amateur Day

In the drinking community, the day before Thanksgiving is known as "amateur night". See, with a long weekend, relatives in town, that sort of thing, everyone decides that that is the night they are going to hit the local bar, pub or distillery. It's a mess. Lots of lightweights. People that don't know how to handle the whole binge drinking thing. Amateurs.
After driving around on Thanksgiving, to and from my parent's house about 45 minutes away, I would like to dub Thanksgiving "amateur day". No, not because people are drinking, but rather, people unaccustomed to driving are out on the interstates.
I have a commute of about 10 minutes every day, including 8 miles or so on a highway. Everyone on there understands how to do it. There are a few rules of the road that people who don't typically drive the highways with their families of 5 just didn't practice.
There are going to be people going faster than the speed limit. Almost everyone is going faster than the speed limit. Let the people going fast get in the left lane and get out of there way.
When cars are merging, let them in.
Check your mirrors.
Pay attention.
Pay attention.
Pay a-fricking-tention.

Most days, even with the traffic there was on the roads yesterday, it's not near suicide driving on a freeway, and you can get from point A to point B in a timely manner. In a two mile stretch, I wasn't allowed to merge into the exit lane; got stuck behind three cars going 63mph or less (speed limit 65) with an old couple drivind a caddy going the fastest; tried to pass a car, only to have that car try to change lanes (into me) 15 seconds later (good thing it was a three lane highway so I could get over... he never saw me. But if we had got in an accident it was all right because we were going so slow).

The moral of the story is this. Thanksgiving is such a tragic driving weekend because those driving simply don't know what they are dong. Christmas isn't so bad because people have more time off and can pace their drives. In any case, let's learn how to drive before we do so, hmm?

Dear Minnesota Drivers

Now, there are a lot of things that bother me about living in Minnesota. So many Minnesotans are wealthy that prices are exorbitant and frankly out of my range. I used to live in an old Maytag box, but couldn't afford rent. Winters are chilly, yes, but I've long since gotten over that. Once you get below 10 degrees, it doesn't matter anymore, really. What irks me is that the winter can last into early April, and there are years, like this one, where it's June 10th and we've only hit 80 degrees three times. What irks me more is when Minnesotans either A) don't have a problem with it or B) tease me for having a problem with it. Minnesota has so many lakes. We should be spending Memorial Day on them. And not in an icehouse. I'm also not a fan of the preponderance of purple throughout the state.
The thing that gets under my skin the most, however, is the drivers here. I spent most of my formative driving years in Indiana, which, compared to Michigan is incredibly slow, but compared to Minnesota is blazing fast. I've made my peace with the fact that Minnesotans view speed limits as maximums, while Hoosiers view them as minimums. I will continue to dry peacefully at 5 miles per hour over the given speed limit, and leave you in my dust. If you are convinced you need to drive that slow, then you must not be paying full attention to the road, and I would be best served not driving in traffic anyways. So, keep driving slow. But please, heed the following two common courtesy pointers.
First, when stopping at a red light in one of the left turn or no turn lanes, be sure to stop at that white line in front of the crosswalk. Now I, like most drivers, don't particularly care about the pedestrians trying to cross. This isn't about that. No, sometimes, another driver will need to make a right turn. If you are pulled all the way up through the crosswalk, Right Turn Rick can't do anything short of pulling halfway into the intersection to see if anyone is coming, and by that point, it's going to be too late. So, don't be a jerk, you don't need to stop that far into the intersection. And if you stop short, don't keep inching forward either. When you do that to the our buddy Rick, you're just being a douchebag. It makes matters worse when the people who inevitably do this are driving enormous trucks or SUVs or vans. Minnesotans, at this point, are the only people in the country that can afford them.
Second, while on an unrestricted highway of interstate (freeways, you call them) at a non-rush hour time, please keep in mind that the right lane is for driving, and the left lane is for passing. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get the Funk and Wagnall out of the left lane, you stupid minivan. It's not cool to pass people in the right lane, and I don't like doing it. Now, if there are three lanes, and if you aren't planning on exiting any time soon, by all means, occupy the middle lane to avoid the hassle. But if there are two lanes, drive in the right lane and let people pass you. It's not up to you to decide how fast I should go.
Also, while it's on my mind, if you are at a stoplight on a 4 lane highway next to a semi and you can't accelerate faster than the truck to let people behind you get past the truck as well, that's just unforgivable.
Thank you for your time,
- Ryan