It's disconcerting that Oregon has started a trend

I will admit that as a 28 year old, I am not really up to date on the trends of the world, or what is fashionable with the kids. I expressed my outrage with the Oregon Ducks and their stupid uniforms several times, starting in 2007, much to the ire of the Oregon Ducks faithful. I commented on their addition of wings to their stupid uniforms, and that opened the floodgates.
Well, now everyone is doing the "new uniform for every game" thing, and a lot of them, to me, look really, really bad. Oklahoma State, Oregon State, Minnesota and Maryland are teams that come to mind with the whole uniform change up thing. Even the Wyoming Cowboys uniform is a mystery from game to game. So, I was wrong, Oregon's changing uniform thing caught on, and now everyone's doing it.
What I do know, however, is that I was right on one thing. My hits go up by the hundreds every Saturday because people come to my site after searching for "Oregon" and "Annoying". People agree that they are annoying! It's probably the wings, and that other teams generally keep to the teams' original colors when they change up the uniforms. And the other teams actually match when their uniforms are changed. So, yeah, the Ducks are still annoying, and other teams did the changing uniform thing much, much better than Oregon. (But Oregon is still better than Maryland!)
But what do you expect from a university that produces fans that leave comments on blogs like this

"While I disagree with what you say, I will defend to the death your right to say it (Family Guy)." 

What do they teach at Oregon, if it's not fashion, history or theology?

(In case you were wondering, this post is because they site traffic went up almost 1000% when Oregon played USC on Saturday. Awesome)

They're a maniac

A maniac that's for suuure! (I don't think anyone really expected me to break down the Auburn, Oregon game, did they?)

I don't feel bad that the Oregon Ducks lost last night. I mean, really, the legwarmer look? And didn't their primary color used to be green? What happened to green?

The title game is set

I will be rooting for Auburn

At least they don't change it every game

I sincerely apologize for not bringing this to your attention earlier. My favorite university in the entire country has expanded their repertoire of athletic eyesores from their football uniforms to the basketball court. Now, this doesn't look as stark in person, but it's still a... bizarre, naturey court that doesn't really look all that appealing.
I have to say, though, making their wood court look like trees makes a hell of a lot more sense than sparkly feathers on the football uniform.

This is the type of person that comments on 2 year old posts

Yep, Oregon fans are STILL commenting on that post about the Ducks' uniforms. This is exactly the type of person I would expect to get that worked up about a uniform.

Links of the Day 11/7/10

I told Ryan I would do some posts while he was off living the random sports trip dream in San Diego. Looks like I failed pretty badly at that. But, I'm going to deliver some links and a post today at the very least. I'll see what I can do in the other days until he gets back...

I'm basically doing the links for this story alone. Ryan and Oregon fans have gotten into it in the past, but now their design craziness has gone beyond the uniforms to the brand new basketball court.

TCU made a huge statement yesterday to be included in the national title game. Now they just need someone, anyone, to knock off Auburn or Oregon.

Former Sportscenter anchor turned political talking head Keith Olbermann has been suspended indefinitely by MSNBC for making political contributions.

Kids are stupid

Just a few weeks ago, Yahoo! linked to something I wrote in 2008 that triggered the craziest comment thread in the history of this site, including someone attributing a Voltaire quote to Peter Griffin. It was highly comedic. It's funnier still when I, every once in a while, get a comment to show up on that thread again (as I did the other day).
I digress. The reason the link came my way was because of the fact that Nike was taking over the NFL uniforms in 2012. Michael Silver suspected that the Seahawks would end up looking like the Oregon Ducks. It was a joke, I think, because, well, he linked to something that explicitly stated that the the Ducks are annoying. This is the common consensus of reasonable, clear thinking adults. The gaudy, ever changing uniforms are unbearable and stupid.
But that's the problem. The jerseys are shiny and new, and shiny and new always attracts stupid people, regardless of whether or not the shininess and newness of said object is useful or important. Oregon has seen a boon to their athletic department, because of a bunch of empty minded athletes who like the idea of glittery wings on their uniforms.
Think about the type of person that attracts. Not worried about tradition, education or even the program, just the fact that they get a shiny, new uniform every game. It attracts morons. If you disagree with me, I have Jeremiah Masoli and Lagarette Blount who disagree with you, just for a start. When they otherwise might have gone to Florida State, they saw a flicker in the distance that caught their eye, and they went to Oregon.
So, I want to boil it down for people from Oregon who might be reading, because they are probably offended: Your uniforms are stupid. Your stupid uniforms attract stupid people. Your university has been dumbed down.  Congratulations on having a football team, though.

I hate Nike

The Oregon Ducks, it turns out, have just been a warning beacon to us all. Nike WILL be infiltrating the rest of college football with their uniform retardery, and there is nothing we can do about it. In ESPN's college football preview (in the magazine, which I can't figure out how to hyperlink to), football players rated the Oregon unis the best. Damn kids, not knowing what's what.
Well, Nike, now emboldened by the next generation of half-witted, pot-smoking hippy kids, rolled out their "pro combat" uniforms, which almost unanimously look terrible. Of course, everyone under the age of 22 thinks they look amazing. Kids are morons.
TCU's are far and away the worst. "The helmet has two red lines down the center that represent the blood that shoots from a horned frog’s eyes when under attack. Lewis said the lines also symbolized the brotherhood that unites the team." I would have thought a Christian school would look down on abortions like this.
Paul Lukas is the only saving grace in this regard.  Why can't the sane every be heard in dens of madness?

Apparently, Oregon's mommy couldn't help get them dressed on Saturday

I've accepted the fact that the Oregon Ducks have a wide selection of jersey combos, thanks to their supporters at Nike. I even accept that they think that they really like their loud, obnoxious colors. It's taken time, but I'll even let them have their pretty glittery feathers that are somehow supposed to intimidate. This year, I've relented a little bit, because in the first two games of the season, they have had monocolor uniforms that have, admittedly, looked pretty sharp, especially when comparing them to the eyesores the Golden Gophers have been wearing.
But really, this combination totally disregards any attempt at putting together a matching ensemble. Have you ever seen a 4 year old dress themselves? What the Ducks wore against Utah is about how it usually turns out. So, really, Oregon, I was just about done with you, but you just keep pulling me back in. And yeah, the wings are still stupid.

Thank you Oregon, the gift that keeps on giving

Yesterday, I came home to find a spike in traffic here, mostly from people searching for "stupid Oregon uniforms" or something similar and landing on one of the few posts I have had on the topic. This is still the most famous. Last night, the Ducks played wearing a cute little white ensemble with the dumb feathers on the shoulder pads.
I sort of felt bad, but not really, for making fun of Oregon so mercilessly over the years. Now, though, with LeGarrette Blount completely flipping out in last nights game against Boise State, punching a Bronco after the game, then going after the fans, I no longer have qualms about vilifying the Oregon Ducks.
In short; your sartorial sense is poor, the athletic department would rather take on insipid uniforms than say no to Nike, the players are uncontrollable psychos and as the linked post indicates, their fans don't have much better to do than comment on an irrelevant blog. Screw you, Oregon.

(The video is ESPN's, so if they decide to get it pulled from Youtube, please read the story straight from the source.)

I'm obliged to comment on this

Last week, the sports world was on pins and needles, waiting to see the newest fashions from those beacons in of haute couture in the sports world, the Oregon Ducks. Well, the new unis were released last week, and I received more tips on this single topic than any other in the history of the site. It appears as though I have developed something of a reputation when it comes to getting under the skin of Oregon fans.
Usually, I like to wait until the season has begun and see for myself how the Ducks have offended everyone's vision, but this time around, I'm going to go for the preemptive strike. First, let's take a look at what Oregon will be offering.


Let's recap my qualms with the Oregon uniforms of years past.
1.) There were too many.
2) They were sensationally offensive to anyone with the ability to see.
3) They were stupid.

I'm happy to say for anyone that has to watch the Ducks this year, that the colors have been toned down quite a bit. Thank goodness for that. The other two problems, however, the number problem and the stupid factor are still in full effect.
Let's review: There are 5 different jerseys, 3 pairs of pants, at least 4 helmets and only 12 games. Way to build brand identity, guys! Also, the feathers that we so stupid? Still there.

Admittedly, the uniforms are much better looking, mostly because of the toned down colors. Also, they lost the truck step pattern of the old uniforms, but honestly, I don't understand what compels Oregon to keep doing this. I understand that Nike is a huge donor to the university, but doesn't this just convey to prospective students that all the money goes into the athletic department? Everyone has a deal with an athletic apparel company, but holy cow. Different uniforms every game of the season for about the past 3 years?
I don't know who they hope to rope in with this scheme either. I mean, the devoted fans will remain devoted and will tell people they love the uniforms and shout down bloggers who, like the rest of society, think the choice in apparel is asinine. Prospects, I'm sure, would be more concerned with whether or not the school is able to beat USC, rather than how fly they look in their winged jerseys. (Get it?!) After much thought, the only new fans you might garner are youngsters flipping through the channels, thinking they have come across an episode of Power Rangers. Eventually they are going to start asking where Megazord is. There's not any Megazord, Oregon!
In conclusion, your uniforms are dumb, Oregon.

Oregon Uniform redux

Well. We've had some fun today, huh? After my post this morning got noticed by a Ducks news board, I started getting some angry comments. Then, it got picked up by a few other sites (I'd like to thank The Big Picture, Deadspin, Sparty and Friends, Awful Announcing and Fan IQ) and various commentors intermixed with the Ducks fans, and, well, hilarity ensued. First, I thought this nonsensical comment would be the most hilarious. Huge Duck? Doctor Phil?
But then this happened. An anonymous fellow reminded us of his favorite Family Guy quote. It came from the episode written by Voltaire, of course (too many fart jokes - Steve). This led to a few more comments, relaying favorite quotes from other TV shows (my favorite was this one from Andre Roussimoff). After some rehashing some favorite college memories, it deteriorated into the typical internet debate that will likely solve all of our problems and set forth foreign policy in the Obama administration.
Anyways, I feel the need to respond to these comments en masse. If you needed a response, you may find it here:

1. Yes. if that is your tradition, than yes.
2. Because I am an American in a democratic society. On this matter, it only matters so much as you read it and left a comment.
3. No, but I'm not required to wear a "uniform" either.

That being said, a common theme was that Ducks fans enjoy the changing of their uniforms. Therefore, I decided to try to identify with Ducks fans, because as Cindy Brady once said, "united we stand, and divided we fall." In this Ducksian sprit, I have amassed my substantial paint skills and put together three alternate helmets for my Purdue Boilermakers to try next year. For reference, this is what we wear presently.

So, here are the three poorly designed alterates I came up with, with a poll on the bottom for you to pick your favorite:

Helmet 1
Helmet 2
Helmet 3

If you have any other ideas, let me know in the comments (also, I want railroad tracks instead of stripes on the pants) and vote away

The Oregon Ducks continue to annoy

For those that don't remember, I have taken issue with the atrocious number of uniforms the University of Oregon parades out there every season. For most of this season, they have mixed and matched their previous uniform incarnations, black, green, yellow and white jerseys and pants, with green yellow and white helmets. They have managed to wear a different uniform every time they have taken the field so far this year. I wouldn't make too much of this, except for the fact, that, well.... they wore this abomination against Arizona yesterday:

Last time I made fun of Oregon for their uniform ADD, I got a lot of hate mail. But seriously, if they keep doing stuff like this, I'm left with no choice.

A few comments about this jersey:

- If there is a part of the duck to emphasize, it's not the delicate wings on the shoulder pads. Maybe the beak? Or the flipper feet?

- The silver makes it pretty

- I would much rather see all black than all yellow, so at least there's that.

Now, if you have mean things to say about me (or would like to defend Oregon), by all means, tell all the world in the comments. Or e-mail me. I would love to hear from you.

The Oregon Ducks are annoying

Nike was the preeminent athletic wear company throughout most of the 80s and 90s, latching on to Michael Jordan and riding the Bulls' wave of championships. Lately, many other companies, like adidas and Under Armour have taken over, and the split in top companies in the field has made them less omnipresent. But Nike, through their college football outlet the Oregon Ducks, would like to remind you that in fact, they are a nuisance, and for no good reason. Let's take a look at the Ducks and their Nike sponsored uniforms this year.

Game One: vs. Houston. Green on green, with a green helmet. Makes sense. It's what I think of when I think of the Ducks.

Game Two: at Michigan. White on white, with a green helmet. This is the logical road uniform. Nothing to see here. Yet.

Game Three: vs. Fresno State. Black on black with a green helmet. Those sleeves kind of throw you though, don't they?

Game Four: at Stanford. White on green, with a green helmet. So the pants are a different color. So what? Nevertheless, this is the fourth different uniform in 4 games (granted, most teams would have had two at this point.)

Game Five: vs California: Green on green with a green helmet. Hey! We've seen this uniform before! Sweet!

Game Six: vs Washington State. Yellow on yellow with a green helmet. Not only is this the most disgusting uniform I've ever seen, it's also the Ducks 5th in a mere 6 games.

Game Seven: at Washington. White on white with a white helmet. What? They can change their HELMET too? Absurd.

Game Eight: vs USC. Yellow on yellow with a green helmet. Of the uniforms to make a repeat appearance, you went with this one? Seriously? Oregon, you've smoked yourself retarded. CORRECTION: It turns out the image I had up there was from a different game. The correct combo is Green on green with green helmets. I guess with three instances of this particular uniform, it's the official uniform? CORRECTION #2: As a helpful commenter with better eyes than mine pointed out, thats black on green on green.

Game Nine: vs Arizona St. Black on yellow with a green helmet. Sure. Why not? You look like a seasick bumblebee, but might as well throw everything you've got together, huh?

Game Ten: at Arizona: White on black with a green helmet. Now you're just toying with me, aren't you? This is uniform number 9, if you're still counting.

Game Eleven: at UCLA: White on green with a white helmet. I'm almost left with nothing to say. This is actually a decent look. Don't expect to see it ever again.

Game Twelve: vs Oregon State: Yellow on green with an iridescent yellow helmet: What in the blue f**k is this?!

Thats 11 uniforms in 12 games. Any guesses as to what the Ducks will wear in El Paso when they play the Sun Bowl? I'd bet they go black on white with the iridescent yellow helmet. Guesses are encouraged in the comments.

Note: For Oregon fans who are linking over from Duck Sports News, thanks for your patronage. Just having a little fun with you guys. And as a Purdue fan, I can say, at least you guys aren't going to Detroit for a bowl game and haven't worn princess gold jerseys before. Good Luck against South Florida.