Why I hate the Vikings

If you haven't been reading the Is It Sports? archives, then you haven't happened across something that you might be surprised by. As recently as 2005, I pulled for the Vikings. Now, in case you didn't know, I have a pure and blinding hatred of the Vikings.
Growing up, I was a fan of three teams. 1.San Diego Chargers 2. the Vikings and 3. Indianapolis Colts. I liked the Chargers because they had a coach with my last name, the Vikings because they were the hometown team and the Colts because my parents had come from Indianapolis. As I grew up and most of my friends were Vikings fans, I was absorbed into the fold. The Colts made a huge leap forward thanks to the epic performance in 1995, running through the playoffs before losing to the Steelers in the AFC playoffs.
The Chargers fell out of my good graces when they dropped Drew Brees for certifiable douchebag Philip Rivers. The Colts became "my team" when they hired Tony Dungy, but for various reasons, I had to put up the facade of a die hard Vikes fan. I was the only Minnesotan in my group of Indiana friends. Their success and failure meant congratulations and ribbing from friends depending on how they did.
All that background is to underscore the fact that to hate the team as much as I do, I had to have loved them at some point. Which I did. I'm embarrassed to say it, as much as they are an embarrassment to the state of Minnesota.
So why do I hate the Vikings? Let's break it down.
- The owners indicate that they hate their fans. Zygi Wilf has made it clear that he either wants to plow northern suburbs asunder so he can make money off of a gaudy mall (like the Twin Cities don't have any of those already) attached to his stadium, or move the team. Before Wilf, it was the equally detestable Red McCombs who wanted the team in San Antonio. Just once I would like the team to be owned by someone committed to keeping the Vikings in Minnesota.
- Revisionist history absolves poor personnel decisions. Maybe not poor, but definitely unfair. After three pro bowl seasons on poorly coached and under talented teams, Daunte Culpepper got off to a rough start in 2005. The first 7 games involved three home games and 4 road games, including three against teams that ended up 11-5 on the season. The Vikings lost all the road games, as well as the home game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who also ended up 11-5. In week 8, Culpepper wrecked his knee, and Brad Johnson took over, just in time to face a caravan of mediocre to bad teams. The Vikings won 6 straight, with their week 10 game against the Giants the only victory against a winning team. All three touchdowns were scored by the defense and special teams. Somehow, this was translated as Brad Johnson being the better quarterback and Culpepper being useless, rather than the schedule getting easy, the defense playing better and the offensive line not wanting to lose a second quarterback for the season. Not the only bad personnel move that was later reconciled *cough*brettfavre*cough* but an example that always sticks out in my mind
- Randy Moss, Bryant McKinnie, Fred Smoot, Koren Robinson, et al
- Certain fans, like Tom Bernard are straight up retards that don't understand the game of football. Otherwise, the inexplicable optimism from the fans. Every year I hear that this is the year the Vikings make a hard charge at the Super Bowl and will win 15 games and what not. It would be fine if it stopped there, but so many fans can't find anything wrong with the team. The Vikings are up there with the Timberwolves as being the most flawed in Minnesota, yet somehow there is always abundant pessimism behind the Twins (who have done something in their history and have recent success) and an obnoxious assertion that the Vikings are the best team out there when they have done nothing in their history. Vikings fans are totally unreasonable. It says something when Big Daddy Drew is the most rightminded of notable Vikings fans.
Those are the primary reasons the Vikings irk me, in no particular order. Now anything they do bugs me even more. I can't stand the team, I can't stand Brett Favre, I can't stand that Vikings fans are suddenly OK with Brett Favre. Nothing the Colts do will ever make me hate them as much as I hate the Vikings.