Monday, December 03, 2007

The Oregon Ducks are annoying


Nike was the preeminent athletic wear company throughout most of the 80s and 90s, latching on to Michael Jordan and riding the Bulls' wave of championships. Lately, many other companies, like adidas and Under Armour have taken over, and the split in top companies in the field has made them less omnipresent. But Nike, through their college football outlet the Oregon Ducks, would like to remind you that in fact, they are a nuisance, and for no good reason. Let's take a look at the Ducks and their Nike sponsored uniforms this year.

Game One: vs. Houston. Green on green, with a green helmet. Makes sense. It's what I think of when I think of the Ducks.

Game Two: at Michigan. White on white, with a green helmet. This is the logical road uniform. Nothing to see here. Yet.

Game Three: vs. Fresno State. Black on black with a green helmet. Those sleeves kind of throw you though, don't they?

Game Four: at Stanford. White on green, with a green helmet. So the pants are a different color. So what? Nevertheless, this is the fourth different uniform in 4 games (granted, most teams would have had two at this point.)

Game Five: vs California: Green on green with a green helmet. Hey! We've seen this uniform before! Sweet!

Game Six: vs Washington State. Yellow on yellow with a green helmet. Not only is this the most disgusting uniform I've ever seen, it's also the Ducks 5th in a mere 6 games.

Game Seven: at Washington. White on white with a white helmet. What? They can change their HELMET too? Absurd.

Game Eight: vs USC. Yellow on yellow with a green helmet. Of the uniforms to make a repeat appearance, you went with this one? Seriously? Oregon, you've smoked yourself retarded. CORRECTION: It turns out the image I had up there was from a different game. The correct combo is Green on green with green helmets. I guess with three instances of this particular uniform, it's the official uniform? CORRECTION #2: As a helpful commenter with better eyes than mine pointed out, thats black on green on green.

Game Nine: vs Arizona St. Black on yellow with a green helmet. Sure. Why not? You look like a seasick bumblebee, but might as well throw everything you've got together, huh?

Game Ten: at Arizona: White on black with a green helmet. Now you're just toying with me, aren't you? This is uniform number 9, if you're still counting.

Game Eleven: at UCLA: White on green with a white helmet. I'm almost left with nothing to say. This is actually a decent look. Don't expect to see it ever again.

Game Twelve: vs Oregon State: Yellow on green with an iridescent yellow helmet: What in the blue f**k is this?!

Thats 11 uniforms in 12 games. Any guesses as to what the Ducks will wear in El Paso when they play the Sun Bowl? I'd bet they go black on white with the iridescent yellow helmet. Guesses are encouraged in the comments.

Note: For Oregon fans who are linking over from Duck Sports News, thanks for your patronage. Just having a little fun with you guys. And as a Purdue fan, I can say, at least you guys aren't going to Detroit for a bowl game and haven't worn princess gold jerseys before. Good Luck against South Florida.

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8 Comments:

Blogger Rachel said...

Wow. Those are some truly hideous uniforms. And what's up with the pattern on the sleeves and bottoms of the pants? It's the same pattern of the indentations on the running boards of my dad's old truck.

3:32 PM  
Blogger panthers_24 said...

I personally like the white on green w/ white helmet. But then again, I like the Carolina Panthers, and their uniforms have been rated one of the ugliest in the league, so thats my take. I say the Ducks wear the Game One or Game Two jerseys.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not as annoying as you.

6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thought you should know that's not the jersey that was worn for the USC game. I almost thought about researching it for you so you could report correctly, but hey, that's your job.

6:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, sounds like someone is an Oregon Ducks fan, and apparently a little touchy.

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not even as close to as annoying as the whiny author.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's shoot for as many combos as possible. The USC game was actually the black jerseys (sleeves are green) with green pants and green helmet--an original combo this year. That's 11 combos in 12 games for those who are counting, and since you're reading this article, that would be you.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Steve said...

For one thing, Nike sponsors most all major uiversity sports teams, so it's not just the Ducks who benefit from a relationship with them. For another thing, why does everyone obsess over UOs uniforms. Certainly the team thinks less about the uniforms than idiot bloggers, sports writers and jealous fans of other schools. They're uniforms aren't traditional, but kids and recruits love them. Ask Joe Giansante what the LSU football players said to him and his cohorts on a recent visit to the LSU athletic facilities. THEY WANTED SOME!

10:01 AM  

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