A Birthday Visit from JR

Hey Ryan, it's your old buddy Jeremy Roenick here. A little birdie told me it was your birthday today. I want it to be a good one, so I have some ideas on how to celebrate like a champion. For example, here's what I did on my birthday last year:




First, I kicked the hot Swedish chicks out of bed. They're nice, but they can get clingy at times. Then I wiped the eyeliner and mascara off my face (to this day I don't know what happened that night, but I'm sure it was pretty wild.) After a big-ass breakfast, I called up Joe Thornton. He won't admit it, but Big Joe misses JR Time a LOT. Then I called up Daniel Carcillo, but he hung up on me. What a jerk. 


After the calls, I played a little NHL94 and made Gretzky's head bleed, because that's always fun. And "Swingers" was such a great movie. Oh well. I went on the patio, grilled some steaks and drank a lot of beer (but since you're from Minnesota, you may want to skip this step, since I think you would burst into flames upon contact with the sun.) 


It gets a bit fuzzy after that, but I know the Swedish girls came back and we had a golf cart. Then there was an awful lot of tequila...you know, screw it. Here are some tits to look at:

Happy Birthday! Your buddy, JR. P.S.: Say hi to your mom for me.

One last travel related update

Arkansas State, man, I tell you what. Here's the chronology:
First, I drew the Red Wolves football team and their 11th game of the season for my annual trip thingy last year.
Next, I waited for the schedule to come out, and then it did. The 11th game was to be on November 21st at Western Kentucky, so I was all ready to go to Bowling Green, Kentucky.
A few months later, Louisville was added to Arkansas State's schedule, and the whole thing had to be jostled. Now, the 11th game of the season was to be a home game against North Texas. I took the necessary time off, my buddy took his time off and we were all about ready to go down to Arkansas in a month.
Just Friday, I looked at the team schedule for the game times and realized something horrible. I didn't realize it earlier, but the games after the Louisville game had been pushed back a week, meaning the game against North Texas was actually scheduled for the 28th now. This wouldn't be a problem, typically, because I'm willing to go anytime, but my buddy and I already had the time off. Oh no! So the game selected is actually Arkansas State-North Texas, but due to these extenuating circumstances, I will instead be going to Murfreesboro, Tennessee to watch Arkansas State take on Middle Tennessee State on the weekend I actually have off, on the 21st. I can't believe so many mistakes have been made with this. But yeah, I'm going to Tennessee instead. Back to your regularly scheduled Sunday.

Buckle Up, Kids -- Uncle J Is Here

Yes, that’s right. It’s your strange, aloof, pot-stirring – and a little pervy – favorite uncle here to take over VT for today. No, no, take it easy Vermont National Guard. At ease, boys, at ease! Go back to drinking maple syrup. I’m referring to here, Victoria Times, and I’m your guest-host for the day.

We’d like to say we at Boiled Sports were flattered to be asked to fill in today, but given that we don’t usually do much on our own site on the weekends, this was kind of like Bill Lumburgh coming over and telling us he needed us to, “go ahead and come in on Sunnndayyy. Ummm, yeeeeahhhh. Okay, greeeaaat.”

No, really, it’s always fun to help out a fellow blogger and we might even check the veracity of things we post, too!

As for Ryan and Steve, well, they’re off the reservation this weekend because of a wedding. Inside sources tell us it’s not to one another, but hey, the rules, they are a-changin’.

No, but seriously, folks, Steve is getting married this weekend and we wish him the best. Of course, none of us at BS actually know Steve personally – if we did, we’d probably be at his effing wedding instead of writing this claptrap. But I digress. All the best, Steve. Welcome to the dark side.

As for today, well, I’ve got the keys to VT and who knows where I’ll take us. Boilerdowd, one of my compatriots on BS, suggested that in keeping with the theme of our feature, Sideboob Friday, maybe we could do “Manboob Sunday” here at VT. You know, just to try out a new idea. I’m still thinking it over.

I like the opportunity because I know hockey is fair game around here, whereas when I try to talk about it on my own site, people nod off. Silly Midwesterners. For those of you who don’t know, Boiled Sports is a sports site that we like to call “Purdue-centric.” We are indeed obsessed with Purdue athletics but we also talk about all sorts of things in the world of sports.

And we like to stir the sh-t from time to time. I’m kind of a bigger a-hole that the nice guys (and gal) you’re used to reading here, so cover the kids’ eyes and get ready to roll.

Twins Introduced to Coors Field, Carlos Gomez Introduced to Wall

AP Photo/David Zalubowski

Last night, the Twins made their first-ever trip to Coors Field. To their dismay, they were not showered in beer upon arriving. Somehow I though that was a custom over there, too. Apparently not -- but it should be. In all actuality, Coors Field turned out to be just like every other major league stadium except, you know, the whole altitude thing.

The game was close the whole way but the Twins did take a 4-2 lead into the bottom of the ninth. The play of the game was made at the last moment, as Rockies' catcher Yorvit Torrealba (is there a more random assortment of letters anywhere else?) hit one to deep center with a man on and two out. Being a naive and uninformed baseball fan, I would imagine the darned thing would leave the park and keep going with the thinner air and what not (you mean they can't hit the ball to the moon??). Suffice to say, Torii Hunter Jr. Carlos Gomez did not approve. He threw himself at the outfield wall, making a spectacular catch in the process. Remnants of the collision are posted above.

I can't find the video on YouTube, but head over to MLB.com and check it out. It's worth it and it really makes me appreciate outfielders. Seriously, the dude just hurled himself into the wall. It was like watching a bird fly into a glass window, except somehow premeditated. I'm just glad that Gomez came out of this collision more or less alright. Bruised, yes, but not of the Aaron Rowand wall smashing variety.

Twins center fielder Carlos Gomez had both wrists wrapped, a sore lip because he had just bit it and a slight headache.

...

"I run to the ball and when I see it, I said to myself, 'Jump,' " Gomez said.

He caught the ball, smacked into the wall and tumbled to the ground. Game over.

"When I catch it, I say, 'Oh, no way,' " Gomez said.

"Oh, no way."

When even you don't believe what you've just done, I'd say that's pretty impressive. Imagine LeBron James going 'oh, no way,' after dunking on Kevin Garnett as if all of a sudden awakening from a lucid dream. But to be fair, I have that same reaction every time I get half off imports during happy hour. It's that exciting.

Someone said something nice about me!

Just when I thought everyone in the world hated me, Kevin at Barry Melrose Rocks called me esteemed. Esteemed! In any case, that whole post he has up there is a good example of what happens when I get time off and start shooting off e-mails, and someone has the audacity to take them seriously.
Kevin also called us an "awfully nice bunch of people" which is an assessment the state of Oregon may disagree with. He also surmised that we have cheeky and fun Minnesota accents. Well, I can safely say Steve doesn't (he's from Chicago) but hey, Beth and I might! I've never been filmed, and find myself neither cheeky or fun, so I really have no idea. Other than those quibbles, I think that post is pretty much the best thing on the internet that you don't have to pay to see.

Since I mentioned my pissing off people I have no business pissing off, I feel like I should mention something, and clarify my point regarding the whole NJIT post from a couple of days ago. In it, I stated that the NJIT decision to leap to Division 1. feel the need to clarify my point that I think the decision wasn't in the best interest for NJIT specifically, even though it tends to work out in the end for most schools., mostly because they have such a rigorous academic standards. In a liberal arts school, for whatever reason, it's easier to tuck in a joke major for the athletes. At Purdue it was Organizational Leadership Studies. Sure, if you took that in school and tried your best and worked hard at it, you would be well equipped for the real word or graduate work, however if you sloughed off, you could still get good enough grades to play football *cough*Kelly Butler*cough*. NJIT can't have that. It's going to be tough to build a strong athletic tradition if they can't recruit just any athlete as most of their competition can. There's a reason CalTech isn't playing D-1.

Ok, so that's two posts in a row on schools not named Purdue that I've got a bit of resistance on. I'm going to sit a couple college related plays out, I think.

(Pictured is Kelly Butler on the right and someone I don't know, so I will name Jethro and demand play Aqualung at my next birthday(April 5th! Don't forget!))

Well, what have I learned?

Yesterday was... interesting, to say the least. To review: I wrote a quick, stupid little post on the Oregon Ducks and their uniform combinations this season, thanks to having Nike giving them a sizable R&D bonus from Nike, as well as donations that help the school thrive. It's why they try out so many new things and wear so many different uniforms.
In any case, I decided to take a look-see at just how many uniforms they went with this year after watching them in their Civil War game against Oregon State and seeing the uniforms they had on in that game, as well as a completely different uniform in some highlights. I called it annoying, because it seems like it is. I like a little consistency in my teams' apparel, but that's just me. Perhaps I over stepped my bounds.
Duck Sports News linked to that post, and it was the busiest day ever here at the Times. We've received four hundred visitors since 6pm last night, which is about considerably more than usual, to say the least. Most of them are Oregon fans, if I'm correct in my reasoning, and a lot of them are pissed off. I was called "annoying", "whiny", and an "idiot blogger". I have no quarrels with that. I probably deserve it.
In any event, I learned a few things. First, any post could suddenly be read by hundreds of strangers, so I better be on my best behavior (even if being mean is a lot funnier).
Second, Oregon fans organize quickly if they spot something they don't like.
Third, Oregon fans are very protective of their schools quirky uniform trends.
Fourth and last, I probably shouldn't plan on visiting Eugene any time soon.
I can't wait for Beth to come in and bring a little bit of friendship and happiness back to the Times on Thursday.