A Birthday Visit from JR

Hey Ryan, it's your old buddy Jeremy Roenick here. A little birdie told me it was your birthday today. I want it to be a good one, so I have some ideas on how to celebrate like a champion. For example, here's what I did on my birthday last year:




First, I kicked the hot Swedish chicks out of bed. They're nice, but they can get clingy at times. Then I wiped the eyeliner and mascara off my face (to this day I don't know what happened that night, but I'm sure it was pretty wild.) After a big-ass breakfast, I called up Joe Thornton. He won't admit it, but Big Joe misses JR Time a LOT. Then I called up Daniel Carcillo, but he hung up on me. What a jerk. 


After the calls, I played a little NHL94 and made Gretzky's head bleed, because that's always fun. And "Swingers" was such a great movie. Oh well. I went on the patio, grilled some steaks and drank a lot of beer (but since you're from Minnesota, you may want to skip this step, since I think you would burst into flames upon contact with the sun.) 


It gets a bit fuzzy after that, but I know the Swedish girls came back and we had a golf cart. Then there was an awful lot of tequila...you know, screw it. Here are some tits to look at:

Happy Birthday! Your buddy, JR. P.S.: Say hi to your mom for me.