Denard Span is way too excited by baseball

I mean, I love baseball too, and I know that I haven't had to sit out because of a concussion for any amount of time but... lordy, Denard, rein it in a bit, all right?

Denard Span plumbs the depths of Minnesota demographics

I don't know, Denard. I just don't know.

Conflicts in the Twins clubhouse?

If you don't follow Denard Span and Danny Valencia on the Twitter, you might be unaware of their tete-a-tete this evening. It started with Span wondering what anyone thought of The Carter 4, Lil Wayne's new album.

Watch the Throne is a joint album from Kanye West and Jay-Z. It is also apparently soft shell taco mild sauce, which, if Danny Valencia is anything like me, well, soft shell tacos just aren't good. The battle rages on:

 I don't mean to be catty, but I suspect neither Span nor Valencia were ever a member of their school debate team. (Also, YMCMB is "Young Money Cash Money Billionaires" Wayne's company, "the roc" is Roc-a-fella, Jay-z's.) Also, I feel as though Danny may have misinterpreted Denard's meaning of the word "nice". I suspect he wasn't implying that Jay-Z was a swell guy to hang out with. But alas, at the end of this debate, just when things seem to be on the precipice of disaster, Denard recognizes the shear absurdity of it all. And then:

AWWWWWWW
(Also, an anonymous lady tweeted this at Span: "I enjoyed seeing you on the field today, even though you're not a Twinkie any more. Best to you in your career! #alwaysatwinkie" Denard, Delmon, whatevs)

Trading Denard Span?

Two things that you know about me, I think. 1) Most recently, I have been a staunch advocate for the Twins SELLSELLSELLing. 2) I am always a advocate of dealing from a place of strength to patch weakness. This was why I particularly liked the Delmon Young deal, even if it hasn't worked quite as well as anticipated. Matt Garza, one of a glut of pitching prospects we had at the time was decidedly not getting along well with the coaching staff. The team didn't have much by way of right handed bats, and Young was coming off a season in which he played all 162 games and was a top flight prospect. Dealt from strength to try and patch weakness.
This season, I have been pleading with the Twins to try and move Jason Kubel. He is one of many outfielders and one of many left handers on the team, and thus doubly expendable. As you have all probably heard by now, the Nationals are asking instead about Denard Span. Span also fits those two categories: outfielder, left handed. Because he is actually a good fielder and not a complete abomination like Kubel, it never crossed my mind that he might be a candidate to be moved.
But alas, the Nationals think he could be. I like Span. I like what he brings to the table as a hitter, a threat on the bases and as a fielder (especially if he was moved to a corner and Revere became the CF). The fact of the matter is, the Twins could get a lot more for Span than Kubel (or Michael Cuddyer).
The rumors I have heard involved Drew Storen, the Nationals closer (ooh boy) and Ian Desmond, their shortstop. Surely this rumored trade would be incomplete, but at least it addresses not one but two holes on the Twins roster: middle infield (and make no mistake... Tsuyoshi Nishioka, as much as I like him, has been terrible) and bullpen (I refuse to say a closer is an important role).
I don't think that those two gaps and those two players are quite enough for Span, only because there is the potential to lose Cuddyer and Kubel next year, as well as Jim Thome, which means there will soon be holes in the outfield, and losing Span would just create another.
So, I guess I would be OK with it if Span was traded, but it surely better be a good deal that patches holes for years to come.

Predictions, 2010

Ryan posted his yesterday, so here's my predictions for 2010...

NL EAST
Washington Nationals
Florida Marlins
New York Mets
Philadelphia Phillies
Atlanta Braves

The Washington Nationals come as the surprise team in the National League. It turns out, someone in the Nationals media department managed to convince the other teams in the National League that the Nationals weren’t a real team and all games against them were exhibition games. This lead to half-hearted efforts, and some easy wins for the Nationals, who were not in on the joke. The media guy later admitted that the Nationals would’ve believed the hoax, too, if he told them.

NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs
St. Louis Cardinals
Pittsburg Pirates
Houston Astros
Milwaukee Brewers

The Pittsburg Pirates looked in position to take over the NL Central until September 19. On Talk Like a Pirate Day, the Pirates managed to all become addicted to rum, and the AA meetings interfered with game times, leading many regulars to miss games. The Cubs

NL WEST
San Diego Padres
Arizona Diamondbacks
Colorado Rockies
Los Angeles Dodger
San Francisco Giants

The Giants came in last place because the baseball writers hated spelling Francisco, and bribed the umpires. Other than citizens of the city, and Twins starter Francisco Liriano, no one cared much.

AL EAST
Baltimore Orioles
Toronto Blue Jays
New York Yankees
Boston Red Sox
Tampa Bay {Devil} Rays

While everyone hoped Orioles wouldn’t come in last place, they were the surprise of the season. The Yankees, with their great offense, and good pitching, realized that when they let a player take a day off to rest that they should replace the player on the field. The games without their catcher hurt the most.

AL CENTRAL
Kansas City Royals
Minnesota Twins
Cleveland Indians
Chicago White Sox
Detroit Tigers

The Royals find out that Zach Grienke isn’t really a normal human; he’s a science experiment gone terribly right. He doesn’t needs the four days of rest between starts. In fact, it’s discovered that he only needs 87 minutes, 31.5 seconds of rest between starts. This drastically changes the outlook of the Royals, who immediately replace starters 2-5 with two extra bullpen guys, and two extra batters. Grienke’s pitching allows the Royals to handily take the division with a 120-62 record. The Twins, for the third year straight, force a game 163 against the Blue Jays for the Wild Card slot. The Blue Jays, not realizing their error, picked up shortstop Adam Everett, who for the third year straight was on the losing team of Game 163. (Why aren’t the White Sox last? Because I feel generous today, and I don’t want to hear Steve to be mad at me.)


AL WEST

Texas Rangers
Seattle Mariners
Oakland A’s
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Using the heat of Texas as their home-field advantage to deplete the energy of their opponents, the Rangers handily win all their home games against their division rivals, who play in more temperate climates. (The teams from the Midwest and Northeast, being used to extreme temperatures, are only mildly affected by the extreme heatwave that lasts all summer in Texas.)

Playoffs:
NL: Nationals over the Cubs
Padres over the Marlins
Nationals over Padres
AL: Royals over the Orioles
Twins over Rangers

World Series:
Nationals versus Twins. In game seven, after the 32nd inning was finished with the 4-4 tie, fans were asked if anyone cared anymore who won (Games 1-6 all went between 13 and 21 innings). A resounding “no” came from the four fans still awake (although three of them caught naps between the 18-26th innings). A coin toss was attempted, but the coin landed on it’s side. The umpires declared the Cubs the winners and everyone went to bed happy. Except the Cubs’ fans, who were all in bed long before, and were bummed about missing their team finally winning.

April Fools! I suck at making predictions. I’m biased, and find it difficult to compare teams on paper (players, I'm good with; teams, not so much). So, like last year, I want to make insane predictions that, if they end up being true, will be a little frightening. Although it’s impossible for me to count my Twins out at all.

As an aside, and this, sadly, is not an April Fool’s joke, is one little note on my least favorite team, and the player that represents that team. Of all the things I’m thankful for is that while Derek Jeter is known as the Captain of the Yankees, he doesn’t wear a “C” on his chest, like Jason Varitek did for the Red Sox. Captains are completely unnecessary from a game perspective in baseball (clubhouse relations, they can be important, but still are not needed). (Hockey, for example, needs a captain, because the captains do have a function during the game, in talking to referees.) Anyway, on Wednesday, March 31*, 2010, the Twins were playing split squad games. Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, and Michael Cuddyer—players whom people would consider the leaders on the Twins—were playing the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (look, it sounds better than Rays to me. Ray is a name. Rays sounds like a team made up of a bunch of guys name Ray). Some “regulars” like Denard Span, Alexi Casilla, and Delmon Young were playing against the Yankees in Tampa. Span is from Tampa. In the first at-bat of the game, he hit a line-drive foul ball into the stands—and hit his mother. He rushed to the stands and stayed until the medics came. After that, his head wasn’t in the game. In the second or third inning,
Derek Jeter pulled Span aside, and told him to go see about his mother. Span left the game. (His mother is fine.)

My mom’s birthday! Yes, we like to tell her she was born a day early.

I don’t like the Yankees. Derek Jeter represents the Yankees. Yet, in a team where the Twins didn’t really have any of their leaders, Derek Jeter stepped up to provide some veteran leadership. For that, I tip my cap to him. This, however, does not give him permission to get any hits against the Twins.

Timberwolves update: They have a 1-2 record since I last reported. They’re now at 15-60, or a 20.0% winning percentage. The have the worst record in the West, but New Jersey has the worst record in the NBA, 10-65. While their seasons have been over for a long time, I’m sure fans are wondering when they’ll stop playing games. Or attempting to play.

Wild Update: The Wild have a 37-34-6 record, for a 48.1% winning percentage. They’re not mathematically out of the playoff picture yet, but neither are the Washington Nationals.