An open letter to Major League Baseball ownership

To whom it may concern:
 Hello, my name is Ryan Henning, and I am looking for work. Well, that's not entirely the case. I am gainfully employed, but not in your line of work. I feel that I would be a excellent candidate for your front office. Allow me to continue.
If young general managers such as Billy Beane, Alex Anthopolous or especially Theo Epstein have taught us anything, it's that an understanding of baseball, statistics and a fresh perspective are important to running a baseball team. I feel that I have all three.
I'm not what you would call a "baseball guy" in as much as I don't have a history with any particular team, nor do I have any connections to past or present players or executives. I assure you though, that I would go out of my way to fill my staff with people that understand the finer aspects of running an organization, from business, to scouting to the overall cohesion of a roster.
I also understand how important a team's tradition is to a city and an organization, and I would do my best to run the team accordingly. I understand that, say, the Twins value defense, or the Mariners appreciate their ties the Far East. I can work with this, and will continue to promote the brand that your team would like to put forth.
My background is in meteorology, which means I have a fundamental understanding of numbers and probability, which is the new wave in baseball. I haven't proven myself to be a failure as the helmsman of a Major League Baseball team, as many of your candidates for employment likely are.
I feel I have the capability to be an effective general manager, though I could understand your apprehension in hiring someone as green as me in such an important role. Still, what do you have to lose? I feel that it would be in everyone's best interest that we at least sit down for an interview.
Best regards,
Ryan Henning