Ryan's MLB Preview, NL Central

It's going to be hard jumping into the NL Central after watching the play-in game of the NCAA tournament. Yep, it sure is going to be difficult, segueing from a competition involving the worst teams of an exciting and talented field. Yep. How am I going to ever find a way to talk about the NL Central after watching the worst teams in a group in action. I think I'll soldier through.

Cincinnati Reds: I was looking at the Reds and the Brewers and the Cubs, in my opinion the best three teams in this crapfest of a league, and after looking at the three of them, I though "wow, those teams aren't that good." The Reds have two things going for them though. First, they have a general manager who recognizes the holes in the team. Wayne Krivsky has been trying to assemble a bullpen ever since he took over for the Reds, and now he has four of the top prospects in baseball in pitchers Homer Bailey, Johnny Cueto and Edinson Volquez as well as first baseman Joey Votto. Clearly, the Reds have some holes, like catcher, third base, and shortstop. The good news is, the Reds have what it takes to patch those holes.

Chicago Cubs: The Cubs seemed to be the team with the up and coming talent just last year. But then, it seems, that Matt Murton isn't as good as they hoped. Felix Pie? Twisted jubs, not as good as he was supposed to be. Ronny Cedeno? Almost bad. The only pleasant surprise to come out of the Cubs system has been Ryan Theriot, and Ryan Theriot sucks. The surprise is pleasant because people didn't expect anything out of him. Go back further and see what disasters Mark Prior and Kerry Wood turned into. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, highly touted rookie catcher Geovany Soto, watch your back.

Milwaukee Brewers: Let me explain the Brewers in terms of beer. That seems to make the most since, given my knowledge of the Milwaukee area. The lineup is like a nice cold mug of Miller High Life. It doesn't stand out, but you know it's good. Exactly what you want from a beer with no frills. The pitching staff is like a flat can of Milwaukee's Best that's been left in the sun for a week and a half. If Yovani Gallardo doesn't recover quickly, or Ben Sheets gets hurt, imagine that same Milwaukee's Best if drank through a strainer made entirely of Danny Devito chest hair.

Houston Astros: So, the Astros traded for Miguel Tejada. Also, they gave up way too much for Jose Valverde while getting way too little for Billy Wagner. Tejada is, I think, stepping over the hill this year, and he could be taking Carlos Lee with him. Lance Berkman is at the tail end of his prime as well, and Mark Loretta voted for Eisenhower. If the team doesn't play old, but rather as a team at the end of their prime, that could give Hunter Pence and Michael Bourne some time to develop. Even if things go right with their batting, the bullpen is still atrocious.

St. Louis Cardinals: Let's review the Cardinals (I know, putting them in bold, then saying we;ll review them. We're moving slowly): Their best player could blow out his elbow at any time. The infield contains the likes of Cesar Izturis and Adam Kennedy, while they traded to make a downgrade at third, from Scott Rolen to Troy Glaus. In the outfield, they have a former pitcher, a lightly regarded third year player, and a fellow named Skip. In the rotation, they have Braden Looper, Joel Pineiro, and Kyle Lohse. One of those guys in a rotation is bad, but that's just awful. Oh, and the bullpen is even worse than that seen in Houston. They're just lucky the Pirates are around to occupy the cellar.

Pittsburgh Pirates: So, Steve talked through the Pirates like a pirate. And he didn't once mention Davy Jones' Locker. For shame. I will say this: the Pirates have, at this time, the best rotation 9and maybe pitching staff) in the NL Central. Let's see if they can score some runs with Nate McLouth, Ronny Paulino and Jose Bautista.