The life of a collegiate wide receiver

Once again, I bring to your attention the continuing saga of Purdue wideout Selwyn Lymon, who you may remember for for setting the single game receiving record for a Notre Dame opponent and later getting stabbed by a girl he was trying to pick up at a bar. Well, he's outdone himself this time.
After fleeing the scene of a domestic disturbance, he drove to his own apartment with a BAC twice the legal limit and parked in a handicapped spot. The police questioned him, and during the process, he wet himself. Sure, there were no scars from this incident, but right there, I count at least 4 separate charges.
In other news, Selwyn Lymon has been kicked off the Purdue football team. (The best part of that article is Joe Tiller's quote: "Selwyn is the victim of making some very poor choices..." Whatever you say, coach)