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Pick #32 Pittsburgh Steelers - Evander "Ziggy" Hood, DT, Missouri

Last pick of the day for me. It's been fun. I'm thoroughly surprised that Rey Maualuga is still available. I'm just as surprised that James Laurinitis is out there. Where will they go? Will one of them land with the Colts (no)?
Roger Goodell informed us that the Pittsburgh Steelers, World Champion Football Super Bowl World Champions (PSWCFSBWC, for short) selected Ziggy Hood. It's a good pick, I think. The Steelers always have good linebackers, and this will free them up to make some tackles.

Song: Wyclef Jean - Two Wrongs

That's it! I'm done! Go outside or something!

Pick #31 Arizona Cardinals - Beanie Wells, RB, Ohio State

Whew. Mom is off the line. And what's this, Pedro Gomez in Arizona? This is stranger than Sal Pal in New York. The conversation about Beanie Wells continues. After Herm Edwards provides his disjointed opinion, they start showing the highlights for Mr. Beanie before a pick is even made. They seem pretty sure of themselves.
They did, naturally. Also, I just realized that I started writing "Arizona Wells". Also, Stephania Bell just came on screen and so, while trying to "Arizona Wells" I wrote "Arizonia Bells". Lastly, who is Stephania Bell?

Song: Cranberries - Dreams

Pick #30, Tennessee Titans - Kenny Britt, WR,

Keyshawn Johnson has informed us that the Titans historically do a good job making picks "for them". I'm not sure what that means. Does this mean they were in the Browns board room when Tim Couch was selected? Anyways, they cut to Beanie Wells in his living room, which is odd, given that they have a couple good running backs already. Do they need more? Naturally, this leads to a discussion on Beanie Wells.
AH! MOM PHONE CALL! MUST SHAKE HER! Can't provide insight on Kenny Britt! Colts should have picked him.

Song: Van Halen - Jump

Pick #29 New York Giants - Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina

All I can do is sigh. This is a player that I would have liked to see in Indianapolis. Nope. You could say that the Colts shot themselves in the foot, not picking him. Ha! Because, see, the hole at wide receiver for the Giants was caused by Plaxico Burress shooting himself in the leg What? Give me a break, I've been doing this for over two hours now.
Hey wait! Why isn't Sal Paolantonio in Philadelphia?

Song: Led Zeppelin - D'yer Maker

Pick #28 Buffalo Bills - Alex Wood, C, Louisville

Kiper - "The Bills --"
Berman - "I really like this pick, Mel"
Kiper - "What the Bills get --"
Berman - "The Bills, circling at least one wagon!"

Shut up and let the man talk! Seems like a good pick, getting ready to patch that O-line. By the way, the Maria Sharapova/Matthew Stafford thing on E:60 doesn't look forced at all.

Song: Chris Brown and Li'l Wayne - Gimme That

Pick #27 Indianapolis Colts - Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut

I didn't think I could be dismayed by the Colts' first round pick, but here I sit. I don't understand how an undersized running back helps Joseph Addai. He'll be just as injury prone, and not very likely to block. The defense will still be bad. The receiving corps is still missing a third receiver. The fine folks of ESPN seem to like the pick, but it fills me with infinite sadness.

Song: Varuca Salt - My Sharona (the remake!)

Pick #26, Green Bay Packers - Clay Matthews, LB, USC

The Packers traded up to get ahead of the Colts. Who could they be picking? My first instinct is that they are looking at a wideout. The commercial break was interminable. Someone tell me who they are nabbing! Oh, there's Roger Goodell.
Clay Matthews was certainly a player that the Colts could have used, but frankly, I'm more worried about the middle of the defense, and Maualuga is still on the board, as is James Laurinitis. Oof, a long name either way. We can tell that the Eric Mangini is of the same camp as Bill Belichik, as they both continue to trade down.
Before that pick is taken care of, they bring out members of the US Military. Biggest cheer of the night. Good for you, New York.

Song: Usher ft. Ludacris - You Don't Have to Call

Pick #25, Miami Dolphins - Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois

Davis got himself drafted thanks to being the only good player for Illinois in the Rose Bowl last year. Davis is getting mobbed in Illinois (or wherever he is). I wonder what that phone call must be like on the other end of the line. "Hi, this is Bill Parcells. It looks like we're going to be picking you. We're happy to have you in Miami" (unintelligible noise on the other end) "Great!"
I worry about Davis' tackling ability, but he certainly has the speed to keep up with a guy like Randy Moss. Meanwhile, the Colts are two picks away. Who will the Patriots going to pick to screw them over?

Song: Cash Money Millionaires- Bling Bling

Pick #24 Atlanta Falcons - Peria Jerry, DT, Ole Miss

Jerry was a need pick for the Falcons. The best news for me is that this takes away the one player I didn't want the Colts picking. Not saying he's a bad player, just that I would like to see Indy go after a linebacker or a Hakeem Nicks.
So, second Ole Miss player off the board in a row. They won the national title last year, right? Just like Virginia the year before?

Song: CCR - Have You Ever Seen the Rain

Pick #23 - Baltimore Ravens - Michael Oher, OT, Ole Miss

The Patriots went ahead and traded out of their pick. I didn't really expect them to hang around there. Who would they have picked? Do they have any weaknesses to patch with a first round pick? Not really. So the Ravens went ahead and finally picked Michael Oher, who I finally am sure is the last player out of the green room.
After everyone telling us about how great Oher's story is, coming off the streets of Memphis, adopted, then given the opportunity to play football, I was sort of sick of hearing about him. After seeing him interviewed though.... well, Steve Young said it the best "That was a top 5 interview". First, he was both nervous to talk to Erin Andrews, and second, he was visibly emotional. "I would have been happy going in the 7th round." Great scene. First person I'm legitimately happy to see get selected.

Song: America - Horse With No Name

Pick #22 Minnesota Vikings - Percy Harvin, WR, Florida

Mercy. For a team that seems to have so many of those "character flaws" that many worry about, you would think that the Vikings would avoid a guy like Percy Harvin. But no, that's fine, go ahead Minnesota, go with Harvin. He's quick, sure, but he's not REALLY a wide receiver and he's not REALLY a running back. The last thing someone as stupid as Brad Childress needs is any complications. Everyone on the show can't stop talking about how many character flaws Harvin has. Nobody has made the correlation between Harvin and Randy Moss, both pick #22 and frought with problems coming out of school. The difference is that Harvin isn't nearly as good.

Song: Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven (it's a long song)

Pick #21 Cleveland Browns - Alex Mack, C California

The most surprising thing here is that the Browns actually made a pick. They went after Alex Mack to help bolster their offensive line and improve the offense in general. No, the Alex Mack you are thinking of is actually Larissa Oleynik. Now, the Vikings are picking quickly.

Song: Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven

Pick #20, Detroit Lions - Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State

The Lions have their second pick, earned with their trade with the Cowboys for Roy Williams. Steve Young is pleading for an offensive lineman. The Lions need an offensive lineman. Instead, they went with Brandon Pettigrew, a tight end. Again, its a situation where a very good player is going to a situation, Detroit, that is not right. Of course, all those linemen that were not supposed to be there are still there, and they get to pick again at #33, so maybe that's what they were thinking.
Still, sort of sad to see a guy go where he shouldn't. Depressing. Also depressing, Bea Arthur died today.

Song: Dane Cook - Dream House (yes, I like Dane Cook. Sue me.)

Pick #19, Philadelphia Eagles - Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri

The Browns just don't want to pick today. The Eagles have traded up to take the Browns' pick and seem to want to nab a wide receiver. Wow, Desean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin could be a big time receiving tandem for Donovan McNabb. About time, am I right Donovan? Now that you only have a couple years left in Philly, of course.
Maclin has "great burst", which sounds disgusting. I anticipate he will be a good receiver in a West Coast system, but he doesn't seem llike a burner. The hilarious thing about all of this is that the Eagles traded to get ahead of the Lions. That's right. The Eagles legitimately thought there was a chance the Lions would draft a wide receiver.

Song: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Proud Mary

Pick #18 Denver Broncos - Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee

Ed Werder s thoroughly convinced that the Broncos will be taking Robert Ayers. Ed Werder is usually as reliable as someone with a mustache can be. Before the pick is in, Chris Mortenson decides to remind us that Josh McDaniels is only 33! John Gruden was fired! This guy needs more time on air before his head explodes.
Anyways, Werder was right. The Broncos went with Robert Ayers, defensive end from Tennessee. This leads to a lot of confusion. Why did the Buccaneers trade up? Does that make any sense? I thing everyone assumed that the Broncos needed to go defense, especially after adding Moreno already. Good news for the Browns that the Bucs didn't think their trade through. Way too many B teams right there

Song: Kool and the Gang - Kung Fu Fighting

Pick #17- Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State

Note to ESPN/ABC: People watching the Draft do not want to watch Desperate Housewives. Incredibly, the Browns traded down again, which seems to suggest to me that they will be taking Josh Freeman or a linebacker to take it away from the Broncos. Wasn't Kansas State absolutely atrocious last year? Why is everyone high on Freeman? Anyways, the Browns got an extra pick. The Buccaneers went ahead with Freeman, marking the second time the Browns have made a trade and allowed the team they traded with to select a quarterback. That's sort of strange, huh? Anyways, I don't really like this pick, because I don't think Josh Freeman is all that good. Will he be able to work in the pocket with protection? He certainly didn't have it in Manhattan. Well, hey, good luck to you Josh, Bucs.

Song: The Knack - My Sharona

Pick #16 San Diego Chargers - Larry English, LB, Northern Illinois

Steve Young and Key hate the Chargers defense. They are intent on San Diego picking defense, but with Maclin still on the board, doesn't that seem just as likely? It turns out, the Chargers wanted to reward a poor guy who played in the MAC. Larry English, apparently, has an incredible motor. Of course he does.
I am of the opinion that the Chargers would have been better served going after Maclin, especially with Shaun Phillips and Shawne Merriman at line backer already. Wait, is Larry English allowed here? Shouldn't he be Sean English?

Song: Jay -Z - Lucifer. (Forboding)

Pick #15 Houston Texans - Brian Cushing, LB, USC

I don't think the fine folks of southern Texas are going to take kindly to that long hair, surfer boy. You'd best get a hair cut before you run off to play for the Texans. Erin Andrews cut off Roger Goodell to interview Cushing, and frankly, you should know better than to get in the way of the sideline princess. Cushing's steroid allegations proved to be false. Looking at the guy, however, he seemed more like he could be on some other drug.

Song: Gorillaz: Feel Good Inc.

Pick #14 New Orleans Saints - Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State

Herm Edwards wants to ask you one thing! Just one thing! Before he can get the question out, Berman cut him off and started talking about how smart Jenkins was. Nobody seemed surprised by this pick, and all around everyone seems happy. A Saints fan in the crowd has a poster with a "Big Board" with Malcolm on the top. The scary thing is, it wasn't really a taunting or gloating sign, it was actually legitimate if poorly drawn. Either the Saints have nerdy fans, or they are pretty bad at keeping secrets.

Song: Collective Soul - She Said