Welcome to the Deadline

Hi everyone. This is a live blog. As the day progresses and I hear news and notes or just have something to say, I'll say it. IT's not exactly something to sit around at the computer constantly, so I wouldn't exactly count on me breaking news for you, but I will maybe make a joke or two about Jason Stark and how I miss the moustache. So please, stay tuned.

8:44 - The Twins are apparently making steady progress for Orlando Cabrera. My letter to Bill Smith did not work. Also, the first official transaction of the day? Jose Lobaton getting claimed off waivers by the Rays! Look out for Tampa!

9:26 - Just got back from a run. Any news? No. Just a couple rumors on MLBTR about the Marlins. Heath Bell or Nick Johnson. This year's deadline can only be better than last year's, though, when it was Ken Griffey and... ???

9:57 - Not getting any updates on anything from anywhere. I'm switching it over to Price is Right. How hauntingly appropriate

10:09 - A girl, Bethany, totally just freaked out about getting to spin the wheel after she lost a hot tub, like she didn't realize everyone who gets on stage gets to spin the wheel. Don't you even watch this show?!
Still no news from the trade market.

10:28 - In the longest piece of written journalism ever written, Jarrod Washburn has been traded to the Tigers. No need to follow the link though, this post is longer than the article.

11:22 - It occurs to me that the Tigers making a deal probably compells the Twins to make a move as well. Dammit. Less than 4 hours to go, though, and no more deals since Washburn, who was traded for someone named Mauricio Robles and another guy. The other guy is the better prospect, but he isn't named Mauricio.

11:35 - Apparently, the Rangers, who were the last good hope to get him, are out on Roy Halladay. I bet we still hear a bunch of rumors about him.

11:45 - La Velle coming through with some good news! The Twins will not give up Danny Valencia for Cabrera. Excellent stuff. The Deadline can't come soon enough.

11:59 - Of course, that doesn't mean the Twins WON'T get Cabrera. Stupid Oakland. Don't GMs read deranged letters from fans?!

12:10 - And it's a done deal. The Twins have made a deadline deal, giving up something called Tyler Ladendorf. I can honestly say I've never heard of him. Welcome to the Twins, O-Cab.

12:22 - Ladendorf, as it turns out, is also a shortstop. And this guy says he was the 33rd ranked prospect, so I guess the trade couldn't have been THAT bad. Also, in late breaking Twitter news, some guy named Vinny was traded for some guy named Claudio.

12:53 - I was just reminded that last year, Manny Ramirez was also traded right at the deadline. Duh.... Anyways, the Twins are getting cash from the A's to help pay for O-Cab's salary. You know what? Since the cat's out of the bag, let's deal for a pitcher!

12:56 - Welcome back to the Victoria Times Twitter Tracker. According to this tweet that was twate, by twitterer Bob Nightengale, the Indians are about to trade Victor Martinez to the Bo-Sox.

1:18 - You know, if Victor Martinez is going to the Red Sox, that might be the end of any Mauer envy out of the Red Sox. Might be. Let's hope.

2:11 - Wow, incredible lull an hour up to the deadline. I took a shower, played some Tiger Woods... Nothing. I'm going to go to the bank. Will anything happen in the mean time:?!? (Open ended questions are the ticket to live blog gold)

2:18 - Whoa, hey, deals! Jerry Hairston traded to the Yankees for depth and Adam LaRoche, traded again. He's going back the Braves, where he started his career. Also, Harold Reynolds, now on the MLB Network is an idiot, at least when it comes to the trade deadline. He doesn't understand why teams don't get major league players and keep getting minor leaguers. I wondered the same thing. When I was 8.

2:21 - Joe Beimel to the Rockies. Pitchers do well in Colorado. Good fit. (sarcasm)

3:15 - Ran som errands, came back, and I'm happy to report a few trades! Casey Kotchman went to Boston for LaRoche, which is sort of a big deal. The Twins may yet get Jon Rauch for the bullpen. The Marlins nabbed Nick Johnson. The Blue Jays and Red exchanged third basemen Scott Rolen and Edwin Encarnacion. I really liked Encarnacion.

3:22 - I was just driving around, as I said, and came across this fellow motorist.
Apologies for having it all tilty. South Carolina seems fun

3:28 - Um... what? Peavy to the White Sox again? Baffling.

3:32 - Wow. Sounds like the real deal. I think of the teams in the Central, the White Sox win. That said, I am officially calling this live blog..... OVAH! Thanks to the both of you for joining me!

Twins-White Sox Live Blog

It's time for the first road game of the season and the first live blog. Our starters are Javier Vazquez for the Sox and Nick Blackburn for the Twins, and we're coming live from Chicago with Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven announcing. A little background? Sure. The White Sox are 4-2, the Twins 3-4. Yesterday, both teams were in action, with the Sox defeating the Tigers in Detroit and the Twins losing at home against the Royals. The blog begins in moments...

1st inning
If you want the lineups, check here. I'm too lazy to write them up.

Chuck Gomez starts the game with a bunt single. Not only is he speedy, but he is an excellent bunter. I wept a little bit watching that thing.

Dick and Bert can't stop talking about Denard Span and his plate patience. It's a bad sign when thats a surprise for a player coming up in the organization.

Gomez steals and gets bumped over to third on a Span ground out. Gomez is really fast.

Joe Mauer bleeds a single into right, scoring Gomez. It's only the second time they have scored the first run of the game all season. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that they have played their first 7 at home, and therefore batted second.

Justin Morneau draws a walk from the shaky looking Vazquez, but Delmon Young grounds into a double play. What a terrible trade. It's 1-0 after the top of the inning.

Nick Blackburn comes in to pitch for the Twins to Nick Swisher. Some guy yells "Go Nick!" so I'm not sure what to think.

Blackburn pitched a gem in his last outing but couldn't get a run. This time, however, they did. Don't get cocky, Blackburn.

Naturally, Swisher leads off with a double.

Orlando Cabrera then gets a single. Jim Thome tied the game up shortly thereafter. How about an out now?

Thome's bat flew into the crowd and bounced off an old lady. Like, older than Thome.

Konerko strikes out on a check swing. He's incredulous. I just have to say that Blackburn is rocking some serious sideburns. Perhaps hoping that he gets some of the Joe Mauer luck. And by luck I mean groupies. It's working, because he got Jermaine Dye to strikeout too. A.J. Pierzynski grounds out and the game is tied at 1 after 1.

2nd Inning
Jason Kubel, who has looked good to start the season, even if his stats don't verify that, has looked good this season. He gets a single to lead things off though.

Brenden Harris looks like the kind of guy who is always up to something, doesn't he? In any event, he sacrifices Kubel over.

Mike Lamb smokes a ball foul, then gets an ugly broken bat double that brings in Kubel. Interesting how things work out sometimes, no? Hopefully, this starts turning things around for him this season.

Adam "Elroy" Everett pops out, then Chuck strikes out. I had to look, but I had a feeling that he didn't bat so well with runners on, or with 2 outs. I was right. I don't want to say it, but I think Chuck might not be a real good hitter. Bunter? Yes. Runner? Yes. Hitter? No. 2-1 after 1 and a half.

Blackburn gets himself into trouble, walking the nondescript Carlos Quentin to start the inning, but gets Joe Crede to pop out. I think he leads the Twins in walks now, with 2.

I don't know what's scarier, Nick Swisher's chin or Juan Uribe. Put the two together, and I'll have nightmares.

Uribe strikes out, and Swisher takes forever to walk, leading Dick and Bert on their first tangent of the game. First about Jose Canseco, then meandering into a talk about facial hair, and how it doesn't matter, as long as your girlfriend likes it. Wise words, Dick and Bert. Cabrera then lines out to Span in right, leaving the score at 2-1.

3rd Inning
You know who Denard Span reminds me of? Scott Hatteberg. That's what his minor league stats are reminiscent of. Scott Hatteberg. And he leads off the inning with an opposite field single.

The Twins, I find out, have 12 pitchers with 11 righties. That's absurd! So, basically, let's hope that Liriano comes back up pretty soon.

After a whole lot of commentary about how bad the dirt by first is for traction and acceleration, Span steals second as Mauer strikes out. Morneau then hits a monster fly ball to center and Span shifts to third.

I believe the Twins are the first team in history to have a Denard AND a Delmon on the same roster.

Young strikes out to end the inning. He and Mauer each seemed to just miss on pretty fat pitches. If Vazquez keeps throwing like this, we could be looking at a big inning soon.

Telly Hughes tells us that Delmon isn't a big fan of Chicago, all the while Thome strikes out in the background. That realy had nothing of substance, but I just wanted to say "Telly Hughes".

Konerko takes a pitch, for strike two. OK. Ozzie Guillen then yells something from the dugout to get himself tossed and comes back and launches what I'm sure are unkind words at the umpire, Phil Cuzzi. Konerko then strikes out swinging.

I'm disappointed, actually, in that ejection. Guillen was pretty low key in screaming and spitting on Cuzzi.

Growing a goatee was the best decision of AJ Pierzynski's life. He gets a single to follow Dye's single from the previous at bat. Nondescript Carlos Quentin is retired, however, leaving the score 2-1.

4th Inning
OK, this is the inning where the Twins score a ton of runs.

Kubel grounds out almost immediately, but Shenanigans Harris hits a double in the corner. I smell runs!

There! There was a run! Mikey Lamb golfs a ball to the right field corner! Nice!

OK, so just one run. Everett and Chuck are retired quickly. But it's 3-1.

While I was looking for an adorable lamb picture, Joe frickin Crede smoked a double to the left field gap. Last time I get distracted by cuteness.

Uribe then hits a single, but Crede brain farts and stops at third, even though the ball was hit the opposite way.

Swisher and his creepy beard drives in a run with a fielders choice. Hopefully, Morneau isn't seeking goatee advice from Swisher while they are hanging out.

Elroy Everett just reminded me why it's OK that he sucks so bat at the plate. Excellent play at short that he just made look effortless as he ranged to his right and got Cabrera by a mile.

Thome strkes out to make Everett's play stand, and the Twins still lead 3-2

5th inning
My dad is wondering why I can't call now. I don't think he understands the concept of the "live blog". Or a blog.

Span, Mauer and Morneau are retired quickly. I was beginning to think this game was lasting forever, and it turns out, it is! That's the first 1-2-3 inning of the game for either squad.

Konerko finally makes contact and rolls one to third. Blackburn is in his head. Blackburn or Cuzzi.

I wonder what Guillen is doing back in the clubhouse right now? Is he just yelling at empty lockers? I guess I can't imagine him not yelling.

Blackburn has already reeled off over 90 pitches as Dye grounds out. This game is taking foreeeever.

As soon as I say that, Pierzynski grounds out, and Blackburn is probably done for the day, with a 3-2 lead.

6th Inning
It appears Vazquez has decided he would like to go home before 10 tonight, retiring Young and Kubel quickly.

You know, Shenanigans, who I had never heard of before the trade that brought him here, is putting up pretty good numbers. He did last year too. Of course, he strikes out here. Still 3-2 after a short inning.

In to pitch for the Twins is Matt Guerrier, who's name, I assure you, Gary Thorne cannot pronounce.

Guerrier strikes out Nondescript Carlos Quentin, who seeks to make a name for himself by exchanging pleasantries with Cuzzi. Good way to endear yourself to Ozzie, NCQ.

Joe Crede will clearly swing at anything.

The guys are discussing how unfair some baseball statistics are. They don't like hold statistic or the quality start. Bert likes using the "win" statistic, however. There are some guys that want to talk to you. (Twins still lead after 6 3-2. Lamb made a nice play on a Swisher liner.)

7th inning
Steve, who has been working, would like to share with us that we're missing out by not having the Hawk broadcast out games. Missing out on what, I'm not sure.

Lamb didn't get a double, instead popping out to Uribe in foul territory. I'm perplexed.

Dick won't stop talking about a +/- type statistic for whether or not a pitcher goes past 7 innings. Or, you could look at innings pitched to games started. Just saying.

They cut to Boone Logan warming up for the Whi- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON HIS FACE?!

Elroy and Chuck both strike out. This game is now picking up steam.

Guerrier retires Cabrera quickly, but Jim Thome draws a walk. I am yet to make a reference to The Dugout. Commend me.

Konerko is happy to see Blackburn out and gets a single. Thome gets to third. It's pretty funny watching JI
JIM THOME run.

Dammit.

Pat Neshek is going to be plugged into the game to face Jermaine Dye. Neshek does not have sideburns.

Dye singles off sideburn free, sidearmed Neshek, tying the game. Blackburn loses the win again. Poor kid.

Pierzynski, the only lefty Neshek has faced, struck out, but the two righties, Dye and Quentin, singled. That doesn't make any sense! The bases are loaded, the score is tied, and Juan Rincon is up in the Twins pen. Come on Neshek. Get Crede and get out of this.

[Expletive deleted].

At least he got Uribe, but it's 7-3 now.

8th Inning
I just realized that since Steve showed up, the Sox have scored 5 unanswered runs. Stupid White Sox fans. Stupid White Sox.

Dick and Bert are now discussing Scott Linebrink's huge deal, but here's the thing. Linebrink will come in and pitch one inning a game every once in a while, and typically only in key spots. Why shouldn't he get closer money too? Why shouldn't all middle relievers make that kind of money? If you say they shouldn't for whatever reason you give, I use that reason for why they shouldn't give that money to closers either. I'm still bitter about the Joe Nathan signing.

After Span walks, Joe Mauer "squirts" one to pitcher. Linebrink makes a nice play to get him at first. But Span gets to second, and Morneau squirts another ball, this a Texas league single ahead of Delmon.

After taking a couple hard swings and misses, Young comes back up the middle and bounces one off of Linebrink for an infield single. Men at first and second, one run in, and its 7-4 for Kubel.

Kubel launches one! But its caught in right by Dye. Shenanigans gets a ground out to short, and the inning is over. 7-4 Sox.

Thanks to Dmitri for pointing out Delmon to us.

I would just say Swisher had an ugly strikeout against the new Twins pitcher Juan Rincon, but nothing compares to that goatee.

Cabrera has looked like crap today. Grounded out again. Thome did nothing. Rincon worked quickly and effectively. What?!

9th inning
Mikey Lamb is leading off, which means he should double, right? Never mind that Bobby Jenks owned your team in the Wor- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON BOBBY JENKS' FACE TOO?!

Well, that wasn't a double. Barely got to the pitcher. At least it's Adam Everett next up!

Oh good, we'll get Matt Tolbert pinch hitting instead.

Tolbert goes the other way for a single, and it affects the space-time continuum so much the game feed is interrupted. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! How will it end?!

Oh. Feeds back. And Chuck grounds into a game ending double play. I should stop doing live blogs.

Game Log #3 Twins at Diamondbacks 6/8

Originally posted on "Is It Sports?" by Ryan. Ryan really wanted to do a game log where the Twins actually won, and this was his chance.

8:52 I’m taking advantage of a few things all coming together. A)High speed internet for easy uploading and B) the Twins are on TV. They are playing The Arizona Diamondbacks on ESPN2 and Johan Santana is on the hill. Should be a good game.
8:58 Once again, the Rockies and White Sox can’t score more than 10 runs combined. I’m speechless.
9:00 The ESPN baseball song is the best sports intro out there.
9:02 Jeff Brantley, keeping the mullet alive.
9:08 Dan Shulman (who? Was Rachel Nichols unavailable?) is helping Brantley dig himself a hole. Brantley thinks Johan Santana shouldn’t have won the Cy Young and Shulman lets him know that he makes no sense.

Top 1st
9:14 Luis Rodriguez batting, we get the obligatory “Twins have such a good farm system” rant.
9:15 Shulman with the Augie Ojeda reference. Nice.
9:17 I don’t think I’ve ever seen Luis Gonzalez in the field before. Interesting.

Bottom 1st
9:20 First bad news of the night. I’m out of Pepsi!
9:20 Royce Clayton wins the award for worst hair. Anywhere.
9:23 Justin Morneau is back in the lineup sporting a goatee even less fetching than mine.
9:24 Two first inning strikeouts. I’m pleased.

Top 2nd
9:27 Once again, everyone thinks Torii Hunter is the best hitter on the Twins. Lately, yes, always, absolutely not. He follows Morneau, Joe Mauer, Jacque Jones, Shannon Stewart and Lew Ford. Sad truth, friends, but a fantastic glove doesn’t always translate to the bat.
9:29 Naturally, Hunter hits a gapper.
9:34 While Brantley is ripping Claudio Vargas, the starting pitcher for AZ, Jones drills about the 15th pitch over the left field wall. The Twins with a lead while I’m writing the log. I don’t know what to say. I’m beside myself.
9:37 After Cuddyer strikes out, Brantley says “If you can throw a breaking ball like that and don’t, you are either hard headed or don’t know what you’re doing.” Brantley doesn’t pull any punches. But really, “hard headed and doesn’t know what he’s doing.” That’s how I would describe…. Jeff Brantley.

Bottom 2nd
9:43 Brantley won’t let it go about Santana. It’s like he’s upset he’s there. Meanwhile, Santana strikes out his third.
9:45 Another easy inning for Santana. Shulman summarizes Brantley’s arguments for why Schilling should have won the Cy Young
a) More wins
b) More pressure in Boston
c) More games against the Yankees
d) Brantley still wears a mullet, he’s clearly been hit in the head a few too many times.

Top 3rd
9:48 Santana bleeds a single through the infield! He does it all!
9:49 Game update. Indians lead the Padres on an Aaron Boone homer. That’s a good sign you aren’t going to win when Boone homers.
9:52 Luis Rodriguez with the bunt single. The single least exciting play in baseball. The bases are juiced!
9:55 Mauer singles, Santana and Stewart score. This is so strange. I can’t be cynical because things are going to well!
9:57 Fielders choice, Twins up 5-0. This game has been magical.
9:59 Jones grounds into a double play. It isn’t a Twins game without a GIDP

Bottom 3rd
10:04 Vargas with an ugly bunt. Brantley never misses an opportunity to rip on the pitchers in this game. He’s just bitter he has a mullet and doesn’t pitch anymore.

Top 4th
10:07 A-rod is the youngest player to 400 career homeruns. Congrats, I guess, despite your team’s terrible record.
10:12 While the Twins were batting, the commentators interviewed Jeff Moorad. I decided to leave to get ice cream. I don’t think I missed much

Bottom 4th
10:13 Alas, I was correct.
10:18 Santana is still cruising despite the second hit.
10:19 Brantley shares his opinion on interleague play. I ignore him.

Top 5th
10:22 Torii Hunter with the MLB commercial on ESPN2. Nice.
10:23 Santana has a virtually invisible at bat, but then the leadoff hitter Stewart goes yard. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad that he is tied for the team lead in homers.
10:26 Luis Rodriguez who weighs a little more than Lindsay Lohan, hits a rocket double to center. I love this game!
10:28 Wild pitch. Vargas is still in, down by 6. The announcers are almost ready to lose interest.
10:30 Hunter grounds out, ending another rough inning for the ‘Backs. I have my fingers crossed that we get to see the vaunted Arizona bullpen soon!

Bottom 5th
10:33 I like these game updates. Reds beat the D-Rays on a walk off homer by Wily Mo Pena. Wily Mo will be touring with Murphy Lee this winter.
10:36 Juan Castro is absolutely brilliant in the field, but he just bobbled that one.
10:39 I just had to look up something about Tommy Tutone. No, I don’t want to talk about it.

Top 6th
10:42 Mike Koplove in to give up about three runs.
10:42 Jones almost kills Tony Clark at first. Wicked shot.
10:45 Morneau hits, Cuddyer with an infield hit. The commentators have begun talking about offseason illnesses. We are on the slippery slope.
10:47 Another RBI, but Santana grounds into a double play. That guy is lucky he can pitch.

Bottom 6th
10:50 Every time Brantley opens his mouth, I want to throat punch him.
10:51 I can’t get over Royce Clayton’s hair.
10:52 Luis Gonzalez is Santana’s 8th strikeout victim. His look says it all.

Top 7th
10:55 I don’t want to think about John Madden selling Tinactin. He can’t have attractive feet.
10:56 Uh oh, Shulman and Brantley are talking about the pool at BOB. Interest is gone.
10:59 Koplove is… erratic.
11:01 Lew Ford gets beaned by Koplove. Things are not going well out there.
11:03 Sac fly Jones. This is ugly, friends.

Bottom 7th
11:05 This game is going on forever. (Channeling Sandlot) Forever. Foooreeeeeevvvver.
11:10 Da Vinci would call this outing a work of art.
11:12 Morneau very nimbly dives for a groundball. He’s definitely no Doug Mientkiewicz.

Top 8th
11:16 They keep going back to that pool. Surely a sign that nobody cares.
11:17 Castro doubles, Cuddyer scores bringing Santana up with a 9-0 lead.
11:20 Michael Ryan in for Stewart. The Twins are now on cruise control.
11:21 Sac fly. Twins break double digits. These game logs are more fun when the Twins win.
11:22 Brantly and Shulman are waxing philosophic about the draft. Nostalgia is kicking in.

Bottom 8th
11:27 Dead air, followed by Brantley repeating something he said a long while ago.
11:29 15 hits to 3. Wow.

Top 9th
11:35 I have no idea what happened, and I’m pretty sure the announcers don’t either.

Bottom 9th
11:36 Don’t worry Brantley, it’s almost over and you can get away from these useless pitchers and groom your finely sculpted mullet.
11:39 Twins have a great farm system, etc. Would these conversations happen if the Twins aren’t up 10?
11:42 Twins win! Incredible.

I don’t think this was a condemnation of the D’backs, as they were pitching a terrible pitcher who was making a spot start against the reigning Cy Young winner. I’ll take the win. Oh, and screw you Jeff Brantley- Ryan

White Sox-Twins Game Log II

Originally posted on "Is It Sports?" we did another game log because Ryan wanted redemption for the Twins loss, and guess what? The Sox won again. They won 97 regular season games that we didn't do live logs of too. We both ate crappy dinners back then, but some things don't change. The day I'm posting this old post, October 17, 2009, I had Taco Bell for lunch, and I still watch the office. I (Steve) am in black, Ryan is in red.

Well we had so much fun doing the first game log that we decided to do it again for the final game on April 19 between the White Sox and Twins until August 15. If you noticed on the first one, I made the background color gray and put my log first because the White Sox won. The White Sox won this game too, but since I'm a nice guy, I'll put Ryan's log first and make it Twins colors so he can at least pretend they won - Steve

Time for another Game Log. They are easy to write, I’m held captive at the computer, and I’m writing about the Twins. Also, it’s a good excuse for the poor grammar and spelling. We’re just doing this on the fly!

Any who, Twins at the Sox, listening to the Hawk and Darren Jackson on the tube.

Top of the 1st
7:05 The Twins game IS on TV today. More of the Hawk and DJ. El Duque on the hill for the ChiSox. Hopefully better luck than last night.
7:07 Shannon Stewart starts the game with a single. After two bases loaded double plays, I’m not exactly optimistic.
7:09 US Cellular looks empty
7:11 And on cue, there is a double play.
7:12 Both the announcers and Steve have mentioned that it’s Joe Mauer’s birthday. Happy B-day Joe.

Bottom of the 1st
7:15 Brad “Wait, I DON’T have to give up a 1st inning homer?” Radke is on the hill for the Twins.
7:18 Two ground ball base hits. At least it isn’t a homer. What a refreshing change of pace.
7:20 Everett with a very close to being fair ball. I’ll take it as being foul though.
7:22 Everett flies out to center, Podsednik gunned down at the plate. Splendid!
7:23 Maybe the ugliest diving catch I’ve ever seen. Looked like it was slow motion.

Top of the 2nd
7:27 My “pick to click” which is apparently a Chicago thing was Terry Tiffee. My pick just clicked all the way to 2nd base.
7:28 Off El Duque’s hand. Trouble on the base paths!
7:32 Lew Ford is at the dish. I’m trying to trade with Steve for him in our fantasy league. I think of this as scouting.
7:35 Ford got hit by a pitch, which is almost bad news if we go by last night. Cuddyer better not suck.
7:40 Torii Hunter was made to look like a fool by El Duque with the bases drunk. Sharp pickoff fake by Hernandez, and the Torii just stumbled in. It was like me at any club I’ve ever been to.
7:42 Cuddyer struck out a few minutes ago, but now we have the LONGEST at bat ever with Nick Punto batting.
7:43 Popped up. We should just stop loading the bases.

Bottom of the 2nd
7:47 I’ve watched three games now, and I still haven’t seen J.C. Dye in a Sox uni.
7:48 Steve and I were discussing Timo Perez’s homer in the last game we logged. “I think that was a once in a lifetime thing”
7:49 Once again two men on. What is Radke’s problem?

Top of the 3rd
7:51 Got out of the second. Time for taquitos!
7:52 The White Sox poll question. Have I ever tailgated before a White Sox game? Well, yes, but only if you consider taquitos in front of the TV tailgating.
7:54 “Ground ball to 2nd. Iguchi sucks it up.” Sadly, I’m just gonna let that one go.
7:55 DJ is ripping on the Twins farm system for being fastidious. But “that’s where it starts with the organization.” Apparently because the kids know how to put things away, we’re a solid organization.

Bottom of the 3rd
8:02 So…. We got a new pope. That’s kinda nice.
8:03 Iguchi is killing us! But he has such a fun name.

Top of the 4th
8:08 Still no score. Still no scorn at the announcers. Usually by this point I’m livid about something. Even the not scoring with the bases juiced didn’t rile me up to bad. It was a little too expected.
8:11 Just realized this is the second time I’ve sat in my room with the lights off, watching baseball and working at the computer. Is there something wrong with me? I say no
8:13 Two on after a bunt single by Lew Ford. I’m not doing the vintage thing this game, but you totally know it was.
8:15 Double play by Cuddyer. Of course.

Bottom of the 4th
8:19 Two ground outs that didn’t make it off the grass. Nice.
8:20 And now he struck him out. But I’m slightly concerned. Still no runs? This seems like the type of game the Twins like to lose.

Top of the 5th
8:24 As the Hawk explains what a BP fastball is. The BP stands for batting practice, apparently. Needless to say, Stewart hits a BP fastball and turns it into a ducksnort.
8:29 Small ball puts Stewart on third with Mauer at the plate. Pierzynski wants to talk about how to pitch to his replacement. I suspect he said something like this. “Hit him in the f’in junk”
8:30 Mauer walks, but not after getting hit in the f’in junk.
8:32 Tiffee bounces one down the line and El Duque tags him. A little shove. I guess it makes up for not hitting Mauer in the f’in junk.

Bottom of the 5th
8:34 According to the trivia question (brought to us by Aflac) Michael Cuddyer has the highest average of any current Twin in the playoffs. That’s like Joe Crede having a multi hit game.
8:36 The cancer is on first base.
8:37 And Crede doubles in the cancer. That’s just not right. But Darren says that the ball looks like it caught a jet stream. Perhaps nobody other than a meteorologist like myself would find that hilarious.
8:40 Sac-fly by Podsednik, but Crede almost missed the plate, which would have been the second time a Sox player missed the plate, which would be almost legendary. Oh well, Podsednik is on my fantasy team.

Top of the 6th
8:44 I’ve started drinking. A hard Mike’s is good to find.
8:47 Two balls smoked by Twins hitters. DJ keeps talking about the jet stream. I keep laughing.
8:48 The good news is Cuddyer singled to load the bases, which is better than the strike out and double play he had earlier. The bad news is, the bases are loaded again.
8:50 The bad news is, Punto pops out. The good news is, it wasn’t a double play!
8:52 %$&!!!!!! Stewart flies out! I’m going to kill!

Bottom of the 6th
8:55 I think I blacked out there for a minute… Has anyone heard from Steve? He hasn’t said anything for over an hour now…
8:57 Darren Jackson sounds not unlike Will Farrell’s impression of President Bush.
8:58 And Konerko goes yard. Crackerjacks.
9:01 The Twins just made some defensive play. I’m still fuming about everything in this game.

Top of the 7th.
9:04 In case you weren’t keeping track, 4 times in the past two games… FOUR… the Twins loaded the bases and didn’t score. Then we just give up runs like it ain’t no thing. Sometimes I just get so angry.
9:06 They put Luis Vizcaino in. Does he not give up double plays?
9:07 Happy flippin’ birthday already Joe Mauer, now stop grounding into bases loaded double plays. Not that you did here. I’m just saying.
9:08 I’m somewhat preoccupied with the bases loaded thing.

Bottom of the 7th
9:10 Stretching
9:13 As with the last log, other TV is distracting me. Scrubs is one of the best shows on television, and they can score with the bases loaded.
9:14 Three up, three down. No Sox left on base.

Top of the 8th
9:18 Still no score out of the Twins. I wonder why that would be.
9:20 ANOTHER DOUBLE PLAY! Does anyone know the number for the suicide hotline?

Bottom of the 8th
9:26 Missed the first two outs. Radke is still in, and nobody is on base. That’s all I know. I’ve been yelling about the bases loaded/double play thing.

Top of the 9th
9:29 I’m a fairly big guy, and I truly think I’m going to have a heart attack.
9:31 “I hope the Twins win so you can rub it in (specific White Sox fan’s) face” Thanks Jen.
9:33 They had this big sampler pack of Mike’s in 4 different flavors. Definitely helping me get through this game.
9:35 “Trying to put some icing on that frosting..” DJ says of the bullpen. No wonder why Americans are so fat.
9:38 Saw a dog get hit by a car today. I think the little guy was going to make it, but still, made my heart jump into my throat.
9:39 Hey! Twins score! Matt LeCroy!
9:40 Pitching change. The 9th inning always lasts FOREVER.
9:44 The Office cracks me up. I recommend it, its on NBC on Tuesday nights.
9:45 Sox win, Sox win. Go to hell Chicago.

Well, as soon as the Twins decide to start driving in the runs that they put on, they’ll be fine. They got 14 hits today. 14! That led, of course, to one run which is totally unacceptable. I’m going to go drink more and not worry about this anymore. – Ryan

Another game log! And I'm actually awake at the beginning of the game this time.

Top of the 1st
7:06 - Game just got underway. Why are we doing this again you ask? Well I’ve got nothing at all to do tonight. I mean nothing. I think there’s a chance that I’ve completed my last homework assignment ever and my senior design project is pretty much finished. So thanks to the Bulls getting blacked out in the state of Indiana, we got yet another White Sox-Twins showdown, coming to you live from U.S. Cellular Field!
7:08 – Leadoff single by Shannon Stewart over “El Duque” Orlando Hernandez. Since this is only a 2 game series, the Sox are already in their 5th sweep attempt of the year, and they haven’t gotten one yet, so this doesn’t bode well.
7:12 – It’s Joe Mauer’s birthday today, and I just found out I’m older than him…
7:14 – El Duque gets out of the first, and I’m really hungry

Bottom of the 1st
7:16 – Alright, following the Hawk’s orders its time for us to select our Picks to Click. I’m going with Carl Everett and his 3 HR in the last 2 games. Meanwhile, Podsednik gets a leadoff infield hit.
7:18 – Base hit for Iguchi! I like the way this is going already
7:22 – Wow…Everett hits a no-brainer sacrifice fly and amazingly Torii Hunter guns out one of the fastest guys in baseball, Scott Podsednik, at the plate. I have to admit I’m impressed.
7:24 – Jacque Jones makes an amazing diving catch on Konerko. Why couldn’t we be facing the Indians defense?

Top of the 2nd
7:27 – Terry Tiffee steps up to the plate. Like almost every Twin player for me over the past 13 years…who?
7:28 – And of course he hits a double. Now you see why I loathe the Twins.
7:29 – El Duque, if you break your pitching hand, you have to go back to Cuba. Do you really want that?
7:32 – The old saying goes, make a great catch; hit a home run. Just replace “hit a home run” with “strike out embarrassingly” and you have Jacque Jones
7:36 – Bases loaded for Michael Cuddyer, and I couldn’t be less worried
7:37 – Cuddyer watches a fastball right down the middle. He Gone!
7:40 – If El Duque walks in a run on Nick Punto…
7:41 – Full count, and Torii Hunter gracefully slides into second like he spent an evening with his good friend Jim…Jim Beam.
7:44 – And El Duque gets out of it after throwing about 70 pitches that inning and a near horrible collision between Iguchi and Timo Perez in right. Three English words for you to learn, Tadahito, I, Got, and It.

Bottom of the 2nd
7:46 - I love this logic. Well we're going to sit Jermaine Dye tonight and he usually hits 5th, so oh well, you can hit 5th Timo. And before I can even finish typing this, Timo is down on strikes.
7:47 – Darren Jackson picked Aaron Rowand as his Pick to Click. Rowand might as well just go sit back on the bench right now.
7:50 – Well I think I’m going to make this a Taco Bell night. I’m heading over there as soon as this inning is over. Meanwhile, the “cancer” (A.J. Pierzynski, not what I’ll get from eating too many tacos) and Crede get a hit.
7:51 – Uribe pops out and I’m getting food.

Top of the 3rd
Twins didn’t score….good!

Bottom of the 3rd
8:08a – I’m back and now its time to watch the game while enjoying chalupas and Dos Equis. When I got up to Taco Bell, there was a cop car, a country music station van, and a whole lot of people just standing around staring. I have no what was going on, but I was hungry, wanted to watch the game, and remembered I’m living in West Lafayette, Indiana.
8:08b – As for sports notes in my car, the station that usually has the Sox games WMVP 1000 (which sounds crappy but comes in here) has the Bulls on (down by 2 to the Knicks…how?) and the Cubs were leading the Reds on WGN 720. There is a difference with really old announcers. You’ve got senile and lovable, but then you have just plain stupid. Harry Caray was the former, Ron Santo is the latter.
8:09 – Everett strikes out and Iguchi is thrown out in another well executed Ozzie scheme to end the inning.

Top of the 4th
8:13 – Time to eat, I’m going to run back and forth from my living room to my room to type this because even though the carpet in my room has been puked on 3 times by 2 different people just since I’ve lived here, I’m still not dumb enough to eat Taco Bell in here.
8:15 – Michael Cuddyer grounds into an inning ending double play with runners on 1st and 2nd. I love this guy! Can he face us every night?

Bottom of the 4th
8:19 – Timo Perez is averaging hitting the ball 30 feet per at bat.
8:21 – Wow this game is boring so far.

Top of the 5th
8:25 – Shannon Stewart gets a single and steals second. Scott Podsednik would be doing a lot of that too if he ever got the single
8:30 – I just realized the AL Central has a lot of talent at catcher: Mauer on the Twins, Pierzynski on the Sox, Victor Martinez on the Indians, or course, Ivan Rodriguez on the Tigers, and I even heard that guy Buck on the Royals is supposed to be good too, but I still have not seen proof yet this season that his franchise is still in existence.

Bottom of the 5th
8:36 – The Cancer just metastasized to 1st base.
8:38 – Crede hits a double and the Cancer reaches Stage IV and scores! 1-0 Sox. Hold on, let me got make sure its not raining sulfur outside...
8:40 – It’s all clear, but that Crede RBI double was a close call. Now we have a runner on 3rd for the by-product of the 2nd worst trade in White Sox history, but who knew Sosa would get on the roids?
8:41 – And Podsednik gets him home with the sacrifice. 2-0 Good Guys!

Top of the 6th
8:46 – Randy Johnson just lost to the Devil Rays. I love it.
8:48 – Cuddyer got a clutch hit? I guess if Crede can do it, anyone can.
8:50 – El Duque can cause a lot of heart attacks.
8:51 – Punto puntoes out of another RBI chance with the bases loaded.
8:52 – Hernandez manages to get out of another tough inning. Whew!

Bottom of the 6th
8:55 – Oh no Darren Jackson is doing play by play this inning
8:58 – Konerko blasts out #7 of the season! But Hawk isn’t around to call it. Oh well, I’ll do it for him, YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD…YES!! 3-0 Sox
9:01 – Timo singles and Rowand doubles but then gets thrown out on a bad call. The floodgates are open.
9:03 – Pierzynski comes just short of homering off his old team, but Torii Hunter makes a jumping catch at the wall to rob us again.

Top of the 7th
9:05 – Uh oh, Luis Vizcaino is in now. El Duque “scattered” 10 hits over 6 innings. Unbelievable. Ryan is typing to me in the largest font possible in frustration.
9:10 – I wonder what the record is for most hits in a game by a team with no runs scored, because the Twins are being shut out with 11 hits.

Bottom of the 7th
9:14 – Uneventful 1-2-3

Top of the 8th
9:19 – And the Twins hit into ANOTHER double play! I don’t get it, but I’ll take it.
9:22 – More boredom ensues

Bottom of the 8th
9:26 – Everett strikes out again, but they just showed that Konerko home run replay. That made me feel a lot better
9:27 – Not only are we getting hits off Radke, now we’re trying to break his knees.
9:29 – “I mean, the past two games, you guys haven’t really beat us, if you had just pounded us then, oh well, but we are just plain rancid!” Ryan’s a little bitter

Top of the 9th
9:32 – Shingo is in now to put this one into the win column yet again.
9:34 – I just made a fantasy baseball move. I got rid of Juan Uribe from my beloved Sox and picked up Clint Barmes from the Rockies, who I never heard of before this season. He’s hitting .429 with 4 HR and 10 RBI so far, and I’m just following the golden fantasy baseball rule…pick up whoever is doing well on the Rockies. Everyone thought I was crazy for picking up Vinny Castilla last year, but I think its safe to say I got the last laugh.
9:35 – “Me: I just picked up Clint Barmes. Go Rockies!
Kevin: F$&@ You!
Me: Why?
Kevin: I was gonna pick him up soon, I hate you!”
Kevin’s a passionate person
9:36 – Shannon Stewart gets another hit! Is that like number 7 of the game? Jeez…
9:38 – Here comes the guy the Hawk has nightmares about, Matt LeCroy.
9:40 – Shaky Takatsu gives up the first run of the game for the Twins to LeCroy. 3-1. Damaso Marte is coming in.
9:43 – Uh, oh. The fact that Marte is in just sank in.
9:44 – Aww man, I just realized I’m missing The Office on NBC. You need to see this show if you haven’t yet.
9:46 – Looks like Marte got Mauer out.
9:46 – The Sox sweep the Twins! So let’s see now…The Sox are 4-1 against the Twins and 4-2 against the Indians and 10-4 overall. 2 games in first all by themselves. It was Ryan’s idea to do this again today, and I’m guessing he was looking for some redemption after the first time we did this, but if your team is going to get 14 hits and only score 1 run, that is only going to lead to a long, frustrating season. Bring on the Tigers! - Steve

San Francisco Giants Game Log: San Francisco at San Diego (4/19/05)

Originally posted on "Is It Sports?" by Kevin. Feeling left out, Kevin did a live game log of the Giants vs. Padres really late at night. Kevin is from Hawaii, and luckily is not fat like his famous fellow state residents.

9:04 PM: It's 9 Oclock, past many peoples bedtimes, but not too late for a little West Coast baseball. The Giants are in San Diego playing the Dads at Petco Park. I'm doing this gamelog by myself for a number of reasons: One, I am the only west coast baseball fan out here in the Midwest, so I have no die hard Padres fans to bicker with. Two, I am probably the only one in the Midwest watching this game right now. I purchased the baseball package on my dish to watch the Giants bullpen blow games late, to watch the devil rays, blue jays, and nationals, and to jinx no hitters that aren't on national television (for example, my jinx of Odalis Perez last night.) And, Steve and Ryan did a little game long, so I feel inclined to do something similar about my Giants that no one will read.

9:08 PM: Omar Vizquel just hit a triple! It was almost an inside the park home run, but oh well, I'll take it. Looks like the Giants have a lot of injuries with Lance Niekro, Michael Tucker, and Pedro Feliz in the lineup. Snow, Alou, and Bonds are all hurt.

9:10 PM: I knew it! The Giants hold Vizquel at third and then collect two consecutive ground outs, without scoring a run. Looks like its going to be a looooong night.

9:12 PM: Look who it is! Jerome Williams pitching for the Giants. Straight out of my home state of Hawaii. He is on our list of celebrities that are from Hawaii, including Jack Johnson, Akebono, Benny Agbayani, and the Rock. Williams is lucky he's here right now, almost getting killed in bitter ethnic island gang wars. The last time I saw him pitch was when I went to St. Louis for a Sunday getaway game, where Bonds and Pujols were benched, and Williams walked the bases loaded before giving up a bases clearing double. Williams then got hurt for the rest of the season. That was way too much information, but we all know people like to talk about themselves.

Akebono...Making Fat Hawaiians Proud Everyday

9:14 PM: Brain Giles just hit a 400 foot fly out to left field. Gotta love Petco Park...the reason the Dads didn't make the playoffs last year and wont this year either.

9:16 PM: Don't worry, once the Giants fall behind in this game I wont be writing something every two minutes. Edgardo Alfonzo is batting .455! But he just flew out. I'm scared to think what the Giants record would be if he was hitting his normal .211.

9:24: Web Gem! Omar Vizquel is good for something. Sorry for the delay, my buddy Brendan called me to discuss tonight's Amazing Race episode...the 70 year old couple made it to the final four! I can now die a happy man.

9:26: Its not even a half hour into the game and the Giants are already down 1-0 on a Blum single. These Dads are good. And Lance Niekro just let a ball bounce of his chest, which will probably be an error. He's no JT Snow. Which is true, because Neikro hits homers too.

9:32: I just spent the commercial break between the second and third innings discussing fantasy baseball with Steve. Here's a glimpse:
Steve: haha
Steve: I just picked up Clint Barnes
Steve: go Rockies!
Kevin: screw you
Steve: ?
Kevin: i was going to pick him up soon, I hate you
Barnes will now go on to have a 45 home run, 130 rbi season

9:35: This game is being broadcast by FSN Bay Area. Finally, some biased announcers for my team! This is the joy of not being forced to watch games on TBS or WGN. Chip Carey, Skip Carey, Steve Stone, DJ and Hawk...there is nothing more annoying than listening to a biased announcer obsess over a team you don't like.

9:41: Another web gem! I would tell you what happened, but it is much less exciting in writing.

9:46: Omar Vizquel gets a single! I am sensing the cycle...anyone with me? Is it sad the middle of the Giants lineup went from Bonds and Alou in spring training to Neikro and Feliz now? I think so. Feliz just got a 10 foot hit...who needs power to replace Bonds.

9:48: I love Edgardo Alfonzo, even if I would have thrown a huge party had the Giants traded him in the off-season. An RBI single to tie the game at one in the 4th makes everything okay.

9:51: Michael Tucker hits an RBI single and Feliz scores. And the Giants take the lead! I knew my bitter pessimism would cause the Giants to perform. Oh crap its only the fourth. The Giants bullpen will blow it (I'm half being serious, half trying to squeeze a few more runs out of the Giants this inning). Steve is going to be mad I just got two hits, two runs, and an rbi this inning from my two fantasy Giants: Alfonzo and Feliz. We are facing each other this week in fantasy baseball. Steve is going down this week in fantasy. I wish that were true, but Randy Johnson lost...to the Devil Rays.

Speaking of Famous Hawaiians here is Israel Kamakaiwahole, known as Braddah Iz. One of the best Hawaiian vocalists ever, he died because he was too fat. He is famous for his Hawaiian rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which you have all probably heard.

10:00: The Dads just got a double from Nevin and then an RBI bloop single over Niekro's head at first. Jerome "The Hawaiian" Williams needs to step it up...the reputation of the state is riding on his shoulders.

10:03: Oh Geez. Geoff Blum hits an RBI double for the Dads. Is there anything this guy cant do? I go to the Cubs-Dads game last week, and Blum hits two home runs in his first game of the season. Now 2-2 with an 2 RBIs against my Giants. I have a new nemesis.

10:13: That was a twenty minute half inning...I spent most of it thinking about how this season is going to feel even longer.

10:05: Oh Geez, Burroughs hits an RBI single. 4-2 Dads. Maybe if I stop watching the bleeding will stop.

10:15: Jerome Williams final rap sheet: 4 IP, 4 ER. For some reason Yahoo! says he just pitched 7 innings giving up 5 runs, and Lawrence just pitched 8.1 innings giving up 4....but we are only in the 5th inning.....reminds me of the time Yahoo! told me the Bulls beat the Cavs 49-48....when that was just the score at halftime. Go Yahoo! Sports!

10:22: What a treat! The Giants brought in Jeff Fassero. Jeff is 42, and was born in Springfield, IL in 1963. I can see his grey hair...and I don't even have HD TV. Yet he is pitching better than 24 year old Jerome Williams

10:29: I jinxed Fassero. Here's that great Giants bullpen! AN RBI triple by Hernandez (On Ryan's fantasy team) scores Klesko, and gives the Dads a 5-2 lead. By the next time I write something it should be 8-2.

10:38: To my surprise, the Giants got out of the inning only giving up one run. In the top of the 6th Tucker hit a blast to right field. But since we are playing in Petco, it landed 10 feet short of the fence. I told you I would say a lot less once we got to the Giants bullpen and they were losing. I think I'm going to go take a nap until the Giants score their next run. If it never happens, hope you enjoyed the post.

(The Next Day)

2:15 PM: So the Giants lost 5-2. Their bullpen only gave up one run! But the Padres bullpen didn't give up any. Welcome to life without Bonds. By the way, that nap was glorious.

White Sox-Twins Game Log

Originally posted on "Is It Sports?" This was our first live game log where we talked on instant messenger during the game and then posted our comments together. I (Steve) is in black, Ryan is in Red. I focused my anger mostly on Jon Garland, who wound up having a great season, and Ryan really hates Hawk and DJ. One thing to keep in mind about some of the comments that the Sox announcers made weren't too far off. Remember that this team went on to win the World Series with dominant playoff pitching. Ryan eventually gave up and watched Cops and drank (Ryan: Is this the night that Easter took all of your "hoochies," that you liked to "holla" at?). And yeah, this brought back bad memories for me of Boiler Blast, maybe the worst thing I was ever involved with.

Being diehard White Sox and Twins fans, we decided that a Sports Guy-esque running log of the first game between them of the year was in order. Unfortunately, the game was on WCIU, (which you can’t get at Purdue) which has the greatest lineup of shows of all time. It stands for Chicago’s 1st UHF station. Ryan and I decided the other day that it should be called the WUIC for UnIntentional Comedy. So anyway, here’s our first log.

6:27 – Waking up from a 3 hour nap, the Sox are already up 2-0! Why was I taking this nap you ask? Well this morning I had to participate in the “Boiler Blast” for my fraternity, where, hence the name, I had a “Blast” picking up trash at Happy Hollow Park, which is about 3 miles from campus. Our team leader told us that just picking up trash on the way back from the park wasn’t enough, so she made us walk all over the place looking for cigarette butts and then she told us that she gets PAID by the Boiler VOLUNTEER Network for us to be doing this….shady. So anyways I’m awake, firing up Comcast Sports (where Bulls games our blacked out here…stupid Indiana) and ready to watch some baseball.

6:33 – I just found out that the Sox scored their 2 runs off the first homer of the season by Crazy Carl Everett (his legal name now). After a great spring, he made for a great post-draft free agent pickup in my fantasy league…but he still doesn’t believe in dinosaurs.

6:37 – ahh crap Garland is pitching for the Sox. Let’s see, the Twins can’t hit Buehrle well, so let’s pitch our shaky 5th starter and let them wait for Buehrle tomorrow and miss out on Freddy Garcia!

6:44 – Uribe grounds out on a play 98% of shortstops beat out. Uh oh, I was right about that deep dish pizza

6:47 – Podsednik and Iguchi actually deliver to put runners on first and third! So this is how small ball is played…

6:48 – Crazy Carl picks up RBI number 3 of the game, and as of this moment, still has not been suspended

6:52 – Nick Punto….saying his name creeps me out. His name just sounds like some European language’s slang for a woman’s private region.

6:57 – Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson: “And Punto had a brain cramp!” Better than a menstrual cramp I guess

7:04 – Freddy Garcia and Shingo Takatsu commercial: “Jalapeño or Wasabi? Either way you’re going to get burned.” Kind of dorky, but I kind of like it. I loved the commercial they had last year with Takatsu and Paul Konerko. Konerko is talking all about team unity and all of the sudden Shingo comes out and asks some question in Japanese and Konerko answers it in English without missing a beat and Shingo finds his glove with a big fake smile on his face. Priceless.

7:07 – I could be wrong, but I think Matt LeCroy was my high school shop teacher.

7:11 – I just took a few minutes to explain the intricacies of The Hawk to Ryan. When I mentioned his home run call, he said, “heard it already today.... dammit.” Hopefully we’ll be hearing it some more. I really would love to see the Hawk make the Hall of Fame for broadcasting one day. He’s filled with entertaining anecdotes, knows the game well, not afraid to rip the team when they’re down, and invented his own half golf, half obscure language about baseball. Just thought I’d give my opinion because I know Ryan is.

7:12 – Uribe flies out deep to left. I think more deep dish would have helped. It’s either one or the other Juan, you decide.

7:17 – I bench Lew Ford on my fantasy team, and he now has 2 hits. Woo-hoo! But I had to play him instead of Everett (3 RBI already), Andruw Jones, Adam Dunn (playing in Houston), and Burnitz (playing the Brewers) so I’m not too worried.

7:25 – Well we got a tied game now. Please see my 6:37 entry.

7:32 – Still too angry at Garland to type anything.

7:35 – Boxing commercial – Andrew Golota vs. Indiana Brewster. Indiana Brewster? Does he have red pig tails and steal religious artifacts?

7:37 – After that last hit, LeCroy just asked the first base coach, “I made it to first base, where’s the keg?”

7:39 – Seriously, why couldn’t the game be on TV yesterday so I could have done this running log with a better than AA pitcher on the mound for the Sox?

7:42 - Ryan: defribullator?
Ryan: how do you spell that?
Steve: one L?
Steve: I'm guessing you're talking about LeCroy
Ryan: haha…yeah

7:44 – Are we sure that Michael Cuddyer and Joe Crede weren’t separated at birth?

7:46 – Timo Perez puts the Sox in the lead with a shot over the baggy! Crap, any minute now I’m going to wake up and this computer file won’t exist.

7:51 – I just sarcastically asked my roommate Jimmy if he had Timo Perez on his fantasy team, which he has been checking religiously all week this week and, knowing him, will completely forget about by Mid-May.

7:53 – Oh that sucks for Radke coming out right now. All he has to do is stay in there a little longer and Garland will surely put him back in the win column.

7:55 – Uribe throws his bat in the Twins dugout…no one is hurt. Crap, now the Sox have to resort to the home run derby car bomb to get their first pennant in 46 years.

7:58 – Uribe regroups and blasts the ball past Punto and puts the Sox ahead 5-3. Excellent.

8:00 – The Sox score on a broken bat semi-popup by Podsednik where Uribe is forced at 2nd. For some unknown and very stupid reason, Crede (yes I regret not making note of him actually getting a hit) was running, and that’s why he scored. 6-3 Sox.

8:04 – Well it looks like the Twins are having some issues with catching the ball. Their 2nd grade little league coaches should be fired immediately. Podsednik scores. 7-3 Sox.

8:12 – I took a minute again to laugh at the WCIU show lineup again….And the inevitable Twins rally is on.

8:17 – Is Mulholland wearing his age (45)?

8:18 – AND YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD….YES! Konerko puts the Sox up 8-3.

8:22 – Toriiii Hunter makes the game 8-4. The fans remove their parkas and drop their Jesse “The Body” Ventura campaign signs to clap.

8:23 – Damaso Marte comes out in favor of Cliff Politte. Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

8:27 – They finally get Lew Ford on strikes, who was 3/3 coming into that at-bat and of course I had him on my fantasy bench.

8:29 – “He Gone!” as the Hawk says. And we’re going to the 9th up by 4.

8:36 – I really wish this game was on WGN, so I could be making fun of Cleopatra 2025 commercials between innings.

8:37 – This is the difference between Ozzie and Jerry Manuel. Politte is actually having a good game, so low and behold, they kept him in! Manuel would have used 7 different relievers by this point. I wonder what Good Ole Jer’ is doing now anyways. The last Sox manager, Terry Bevington, is the manager of the independent league Shreveport Sports, and I’m not joking one bit.

8:41 – Bartlett doubles and Mauer is up with 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th, I’m still worried like a good Sox fan should.

8:43 – Mauer gets a hit off Konerko’s glove. 8-5 and I’m definitely still worried. Better bring in Shingo.

8:44 – And Shingo is coming in. If he pulls what he did against Cleveland the other day, he’s going back to Japan in a crate.

8:47 – He Gone! Shingo strikes out LeCroy and the Sox take another in the Baggydome.

The Sox have been pretty impressive so far this season. Their pitching has been solid enough to make up for games where the offense isn’t clicking and their lineup has been producing much like they were expected to by White Sox management, but no one in the media. I’m still pretty frustrated with ESPN for not even mentioning this team in their season preview. Sure, we’re only 5 games in, but nothing in those 5 games (4 wins over the Twins and Indians) shows me the Sox are inferior to the “favorites” to win the division. Things can definitely change, the hitting can stop, the pitching can get hurt, but for now, let’s give these guys a chance and see what they're made of. - Steve

5:54 -This was originally supposed to be Steve and I bickering back and forth as the game went on, but instead, he’s doing something involving alcohol, the souse. Anyways, this game is being broadcast on CSN Chicago, so if I get perturbed with the commentators, you’ll know why.

5:58 – Shingo Takatsu commercial for the Sox. I wonder why they don’t have him saying anything…

6:00 – Ken Harrelson and Darren Jackson bringing us this game from the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome, featuring Aaron Rowand and the Chicago White Sox versus Matt LeCroy and those tough Minnesota Twins. Pete and Darren sure know how to pick out the superstars.

6:05 – They are showing us highlights from the Cubs game. A couple things:
Jeromy Burnitz, even though he hit a homerun in this one, will suck and suck hard for the Cubbies this year.
Carlos Zambrano should stick to pitching, as sliding isn’t really his bag.
Bonnie Hunt doing assistant play by play? Was Cybill Shepherd unavailable?

Top of the 1st
6:09 – Why can’t they just call it the Metrodome like everyone else?
6:10 – “And El Duque was El Duque.” I’m not sure what to make of a comment like that. Podsednik flies out to right off of Brad Radke, and I can officially breathe easier.
6:12 – Cuddyer boots it. Yeah, he’ll be a serviceable replacement for Cory Koskie.
6:13 – And Carl Everett homers, the Sox are up 2-0. Brad Radke, veteran though he is, is a little too good at giving those up.
6:16 – The commentators make the astute observation that the Twins defense has gone downhill. Guzman is playing in Washington, Koskie is in Toronto and Mientkiewicz is two teams removed. The Twins are still relying on a good defensive outfield, but more on their pitching. What the Hawk and Darren failed to mention was that our offense is drastically improved. They conclude, “We always look for holes in this tem, but they keep kicking our butts.” So true.

Bottom of the 1st
6:20 – John Garland going for the Sox tonight. As Steve said the other day, “the less Garland the better”. Of course Shannon Stewart and Jason Bartlett ground out quickly.

Top of the 2nd
6:23 – Have you tried these Cheeze-it Twisterz? Gifts from God, really.
6:25 – White Sox star Aaron Rowand grounds out to Little Nicky Punto bringing up the Cancer, A.J. Pierzynski. This brings the commentators to a rant on how they would be better off with A.J. Pierzynski. I suppose they are right. Joe Mauer did come from a pretty awful draft class and is pretty much unheralded.
6:27 – A.J. Pierzynski pops out to third.

Bottom of the 2nd
6:30 – “2-0 good Guys…” Assh---.
6:31 – Minnesota star Matt LeCroy flies out to right.
6:32 – Jacque Jones lets go of the bat and flings it into the White Sox dugout. Nice shot! Nobody’s hurt though, laughs all around.
6:34 – Jones singles, bringing up Lew Ford. If he doesn’t get it going this year, I’m coming after that little dork.
6:35 – Steve is online now. “You were right, Lew Ford looks like a total dork.”
6:36 – Steve is cracking up. “They’re talking to Frank Thomas again!”
6:37 – Ford with the infield single. “Vintage Lew Ford”, says the Hawk.

Top of the 3rd
6:41 – Are they really comparing this White Sox staff to the Atlanta staff of the 90’s? Are you kidding?
6:42 – Podsednik aboard. He’s on my fantasy team, but I’m not playing him tonight. Screw him.
6:44 - Iguchi doubles. More than any other Japanese player in the league, he looks like an extra in a Kung Fu movie.
6:46 - Sac fly from Everett, and they had Iguchi at third after a nice throw from Jacque Jones, but the tag was missed. Michael Cuddyer ladies and gentlemen.

Bottom of the 3rd
6:49 – “3-0 good guys….” Assh---.
6:51 – Little Nicky Punto doubles on a duck snort. I’m not sure what that means either.
6:54 – Darren reminds us that Johan Santana was, in fact, hittable during the first half of the season last year. Thanks Darren, for giving the White Sox faithful hope.
6:55 – Still talking about Santana. 0.45 ERA for an entire month? My goodness, that’s even better than I remember.
6:57 – Bartlett lines into a double play. “Punto had a brain cramp,” the Hawk explains.

Top of the 4th
7:00 – Steve and I have this conversation about Matt Lecroy.
Me: LeCroy doesn’t do anything. He eats a pulled pork sandwich and grabs a cold one until its his turn to bat
Steve: he should have been on the Cubs like 4 years ago
Me: We let them have Ron Coomer
Steve: When they had Ron Coomer and Matt Stairs and all the other fat white guys with goatees that looked like they belonged in a bar
Me: Greatest softball player of all time [Coomer]
7:02 – Inning’s already over. I was too involved in reminiscing about Coom-dogg. Someone tell me what happened.

Bottom of the 4th
7:04 – According to MLB, Sox superstar Aaron Rowand and the clubhouse cancer both flew out. I knew you wouldn’t sleep unless you knew.
7:06 – Minnesota superstar Matt Lecroy doubles! Honestly, there is nothing scarier than having Lecroy on the bases if you are a Twins fan.
7:07 – Steve: “See, and that's why he was mentioned in the promo.”

Top of the 5th
7:10 – Dan Plesac is now on a sports show on CSN Chicago, in case anyone missed him.
7:12 – Other than Carl Everett, Radke seems to be doing all right. Uribe flies out to left. It is a little disheartening that we can’t seem to score any runs.
7:13 – Podesdnik grounds out. It is a little annoying that they cant get the football lines off the field. It doesn’t seem like it should be that hard, especially since the Vikings aren’t even using the dome until August.

Bottom of the 5th
7:16 – Lew Ford had to get beat up as a youngster. But he singles to right. Vintage Lew Ford.
7:18 – Cuddyer with the infield single. Twins baseball.
7:22 – The Hawk and Darren explain that the Twins are having trouble with Garland because he’s working the inside part of the plate so well. I beg to differ. I think it’s because the Twins can’t hit.
7:23 – Shannon Stewart goes yard! Three run homer! We’re tied baby! Looks like I’m not drinking early tonight after all.
7:26 – Steve: “I wonder if I would kick ass if I bought a jeep.” The context is irrelevant.

Top of the 6th
7:30 – Iguchi, according to Darren, needs to learn the change-up after coming to America. And English.
7:32 – Steve and I have become sidetracked on a conversation about Jeeps. Not being in inflammatory type, I’m going to let it go. For the over all tone, though, remember Steve will be working for GM.

Bottom of the 6th
7:35 – Indiana Brewster vs. Illinois Golota? WTF? Boxing in Chicago? I’m Terribly confused.
7:36 – I just realized how lanky Garland is. Lecroy lines one over a leaping Iguchi, which is my favorite karate move.
7:37 – Darren is now doing play by play. Sneaky.
7:38 – Torii Hunter lines one off the baggy and Lecroy hustles to third, where Al Newman is waiting with a defibrillator.
7:41 – I had a hell of a time with that word. Steve says “I’m guessing you’re talking about Lecroy.”
7:42 – Lew Ford reaches first and loads the bases on a questionable play by Joe Crede. Vintage Lew Ford. Moments later, Cuddyer grounds into a DP.

Top of the 7th
7:43 – Steve, on Cuddyer: “He should just change his name to Crede.”
7:45 – Timo Perez goes yard. Anyone can homer of Radke.
7:46 – The Hyundai homerun replay recaps the Perez homer. I think everything is sponsored on this network. Wait… the Perez homer? Sickening.
7:48 – The Subway A.J. Pierzynski at bat brought to an end by the Nike Torii Hunter outfield put out.
7:49 – The Hawk is back from his smoke break.
7:52 – Gardenhire is pulling Brad Radke. Hopefully they don’t put in Jesse Crain.
7:53 – They put in Jesse Crain.
7:55 – Uribe flings his bat into the Twins dugout! Wouldn’t this be a fun way to start some brawls? But seriously, everyone is OK, laughs all around.
7:56 – Uribe singles and gets an RBI. The key, apparently, is to throw your bat at the opponent before batting, and you’ll always single.
7:59 – The Twins have now brought in J.C. Romero. Darren mentions that he is a good one. Apparently Darren doesn’t follow a lot of baseball.
8:00 – RBI for Podsednik, wild throw by Romero. He’s a good one all right.
8:02 – Cops is on too. I may have to switch back and forth.
8:03 – Wild pitch by Romero, Podsednik scores. I’m definitely switching to Cops.

Bottom of the 7th
8:04 – Stretching
8:05 – My roommate and I have a Cops drinking game. Drink every time something is censored, there is a cop with a moustache, a guy with no shirt on, a cop makes a non scientific drug reference or a minority is actually the onscreen majority.
8:06 – Seattle’s finest bust a topless guy.
8:07 – Back to baseball. Punto strikes out. Back to Cops.
8:08 – The arrested fellow does not understand his rights and has dope. I just think it’s hilarious when an old female officer says something like that. The Twins will lose every now and then, but you really can’t miss with a show like Cops.
8:11 – Back to the game and Bartlett is on 3rd after a double by Mauer. About time, Joe. Here comes superstar Matt Lecroy. “He iiiiis dangerous,” emphasizes the Hawk.
8:13 – Lecroy flies out. Back to Cops.

Top of the 8th
8:15 – Fort Worth’s finest busts a guy. “I didn’t know what was going on. Wrong place at the wrong time I guess.” The guy freely admitted that he knew stuff was missing out of it and that the console was punched. I can’t wait until Qyntel Woods is on this show.
8:18 - Konerko homers off the geriatric Terry Mulholland. I’m so done with this game.

Bottom of the 8th
8:21 – Torii Hunter hits a homer. Great. Too bad we decided to cough up like 11 of those ourselves.
8:23 – Pitching change, back to Cops. They’re making drug busts in Cincinatti, Probably one of the lamest segments of any Cops episode.
8:24 – Guy getting tased: “that ain’t funny!”
8:26 – In Minneapolis, Lew Ford strikes out. Vintage Lew Ford.

Top of the 9th
8:28 – Thank God this is almost over.
8:29 – Back to Cops. I think I accidentally hit the SAP button on my remote. The only thing that could make these criminals more unintelligible was to listen to them in Spanish.
8:32 – I don’t have a SAP button. Why is this in Spanish?
8:34 – There it is. I do have a SAP button.

Bottom of the 9th
8:35 – 8 hits for the White Sox. 12 hits for the Twins. 8 runs for the White Sox. 4 runs for the Twins. Perhaps you can see why this game is so frustrating.
8:37 – A lady in Las Vegas is crying about something. It has to be an act. She has a neck tattoo.
8:39 – The dynamic duo admit that the Twins beat themselves in this one. Bartlett doubles and won’t let this one end.
8:42 – Mauer hits an ugly single, Bartlett scores, and I’m intrigued by baseball again.
8:43 – Takatsu is coming in. Terrifying.
8:45 – They arrested Ving Rhames in Jacksonville! He didn’t pull over because he had to use the restroom. I would let that excuse go.
8:46 – The arresting officer used the word “roaches” several time. Hilarious.
8:47 – Twins superstar Matt Lecroy strikes out swinging, ending the game. In other news, spell check gives me no problems with Shingo Takatsu. Curious.

Well, that’s it. The Twins drop below .500 and my first televised game is a loss, 8-5. After finally seeing these guys, I can see a few problems. Defensively, they are terrible in the infield. Offensively, they can’t seem to execute in the clutch. Maybe having Morneau in the lineup helps on both accounts, and they will probably pull it together down the road. However, if they don’t improve, it’s going to be a longer year than was expected. - Ryan