Making Fun of the Local Paper

Once again, I feel it is my patriotic duty to follow the first ammendment, free speech, and make fun of the local newspaper. Perhaps in its own small way, this levity will provide with a better understanding of what actually is going on in town. (Hint, it isn't the trite B.S. found in the local paper.) Let's begin.
First order of business is the letters to the editor, since that is usually where I can find the real news. And right away, I found it! Jackpot! The first article lambasts the editor for not printing someones name that was included in a rather unsettling letter about a councilperson. You mean, the editor shied away from hard-hitting journalism? Knck me over with a feather! In any case, the letter alledged that said councilmember suggested that the letter writer move to Chanhassen or, worse yet, Waconia if she didn't like the way things were run in Victoria. Needless to say, Kim Roden will not be getting my vote in November, if she's on the ballot and I vote.
The rest of the letters to the editor either shouldn't be printed (like billing requests) and there are repeated, if not mangled repeats of the same letter. Shouldn't the editor catch this stuff? Also, there is a letter saying that a well known member of town was involved in a motorcycle. I doubt this made the rest of the paper anywhere. Also, there are the typical letters that ask specific questions without any answer. There is one letter that expresses an opinion, (in this case on illegal immigration). For the most part, it seems more like a cheap campaign ad for Mark Kennedy. Needless to say, he's not getting my vote either.
Looking at the local news from city hall, it seems pretty boring, for the most part. No Rich Gannon mentions. (They were all intercepted by Dexter Jackson). There is a long section on pay equity, but that's all I know about it because I fell asleep reading it. Also, Victoria is opposed to allowing bigger trucks on local roads. Way to take a stand, Victoria.
The longest section is on a proposed dog park in town. Our beloved editor takes the opinion that Highway 5 and Park drive is the most dangerous in Victoria and maybe even in Carver County. Wrong and doubly wrong. I can't name a single accident from that intersection, but I CAN name several at the west intersection of County Road 11 and Highway 5. Furthermore, it's pretty much common knowledge that the intersection of 212 and 284 in Cologne is far and away the most dangerous in Carver County. So yes, more cars will make the road more dangerous, but no, it is not currently the most dangerous in the city. So why is she making stuff up? Because her opinion is being used to prevent the construction of the dog park, which by the way she as a member of the neighborhood in question is opposed to. By the way, if the intersection is so dangerous, how come the editor hasn't ever been involved in an accident there, as the self proclaimed longest tenured tax payer in the neighborhood? Just sloppy, self-serving journalism all around there. If you want to write your opinion somewhere, for the love of pete, don't pretend like it's fact. (By the way, everyone knows everything here is pretty much all opinion, right?)
That's all I really feel the need to get worked up about in this edition. Don't worry though, I'll be back next month with more. - Ryan