Reasons I love the AL Central
There are exactly two reasons why I love the Central. First, the Twins call it home. Second, 4 of my 5 least favorite teams (the Yankees being the fifth) reside in the division. Now, that's pretty concise, and I think I get my point across. No? OK, then here are three reasons I hate each of the other four teams in the division.
Chicago White Sox
Mark Buehrle - Never mind that he's been a menace to Twins hitters, and even when he isn't he still manages to get a win. The thing I can't stand about him are his media blurbs and his constant, smug expression. He just looks like a douchebag.
Jim Thome -Anyone who plays for two teams in the Central gets on my list of most hated players, especially when they kill the Twins.
The inferiority complex - Whenever the White Sox aren't having a magical season, or aren't in first place, they get snippy. They take shots at teams they can't beat, like "We're better than they are, despite the fact we're 12 games out." You know, stuff like that. Also, you have to acknowledge that this whole "rivalry series" thing in interleague play is mostly their fault. I brought up this topic over at Is It Sports about a year ago. The way I see it, only about three teams care about these "rivalries", the Mets, the Yankees, and the White Sox. The Cubs gain nothing from this, as their fan base doesn't care about the Sox, and they sell out every game anyways. The White Sox sell out games against the Cubs, whereas they struggle to do that every night otherwise, even with a world series ring. Really, the Chicago series isn't so much about a rivalry as the Sox trying to get a little attention in their own town. If you ask the Cubs who their rival is, they will all say St. Louis. So let's have better games and no inane interleague series. Please?
Cleveland Indians
The pitching staff - They get frustrated and play target practice with the Torii Hunter's rib cage.
The farm system - How do they keep coming up with these players that are virtually all the same, except at different positions. Victor Martinez, Jhonny Peralta, etc. I couldn't pick any of these guys out of a lineup, but I know the name, and they kick ass in fantasy sports.
The "history" - Carlos Baerga, Manny Ramirez, Jim Thome, Charles Nagy, Dave Burba, Omar Vizquel, Paul Sorrento.....
Detroit Tigers
Magglio Ordonez - See the comment on Jim Thome
Ivan Rodriguez - His name is Pudge and he looks like Punch's evil twin. His evil twin who has a funny shaped head and lives in lower Michigan, not Southern California.
The Ugliness- The Tigers have one of the most bland, ugly uniforms in sports. They play in one of the most bland and ugly cities in America. They have a history of bland, ugly players. They play in bland, ugly stadiums. They are bland and ugly, those Tigers.
Kansas City Royals
Kaufmann Stadium - Ooooh! It has waterfalls! Well, so does Zimbabwe, but they don't deserve a baseball team either. And if the stadium is such a big draw, and Kansas City is a baseball town, why can't they draw more fans than the St. Paul Saints?
The uniform - The Royals introduced the blight that is the sleeveless vest. Enough said.
Runelvys and Ambiorix - Oh no. Wait. I hate these as Scrabble trays.
So that's why I love the AL Central. - Ryan
Chicago White Sox
Mark Buehrle - Never mind that he's been a menace to Twins hitters, and even when he isn't he still manages to get a win. The thing I can't stand about him are his media blurbs and his constant, smug expression. He just looks like a douchebag.
Jim Thome -Anyone who plays for two teams in the Central gets on my list of most hated players, especially when they kill the Twins.
The inferiority complex - Whenever the White Sox aren't having a magical season, or aren't in first place, they get snippy. They take shots at teams they can't beat, like "We're better than they are, despite the fact we're 12 games out." You know, stuff like that. Also, you have to acknowledge that this whole "rivalry series" thing in interleague play is mostly their fault. I brought up this topic over at Is It Sports about a year ago. The way I see it, only about three teams care about these "rivalries", the Mets, the Yankees, and the White Sox. The Cubs gain nothing from this, as their fan base doesn't care about the Sox, and they sell out every game anyways. The White Sox sell out games against the Cubs, whereas they struggle to do that every night otherwise, even with a world series ring. Really, the Chicago series isn't so much about a rivalry as the Sox trying to get a little attention in their own town. If you ask the Cubs who their rival is, they will all say St. Louis. So let's have better games and no inane interleague series. Please?
Cleveland Indians
The pitching staff - They get frustrated and play target practice with the Torii Hunter's rib cage.
The farm system - How do they keep coming up with these players that are virtually all the same, except at different positions. Victor Martinez, Jhonny Peralta, etc. I couldn't pick any of these guys out of a lineup, but I know the name, and they kick ass in fantasy sports.
The "history" - Carlos Baerga, Manny Ramirez, Jim Thome, Charles Nagy, Dave Burba, Omar Vizquel, Paul Sorrento.....
Detroit Tigers
Magglio Ordonez - See the comment on Jim Thome
Ivan Rodriguez - His name is Pudge and he looks like Punch's evil twin. His evil twin who has a funny shaped head and lives in lower Michigan, not Southern California.
The Ugliness- The Tigers have one of the most bland, ugly uniforms in sports. They play in one of the most bland and ugly cities in America. They have a history of bland, ugly players. They play in bland, ugly stadiums. They are bland and ugly, those Tigers.
Kansas City Royals
Kaufmann Stadium - Ooooh! It has waterfalls! Well, so does Zimbabwe, but they don't deserve a baseball team either. And if the stadium is such a big draw, and Kansas City is a baseball town, why can't they draw more fans than the St. Paul Saints?
The uniform - The Royals introduced the blight that is the sleeveless vest. Enough said.
Runelvys and Ambiorix - Oh no. Wait. I hate these as Scrabble trays.
So that's why I love the AL Central. - Ryan
posted by Ryan | 7:07 PM
2 Comments:
Weren't the White Sox bitching that the Twins had a weaker schedule a few years (in 2004 I think) ago? Silly bitches.
I hate Cleveland because of Hafner. He scares me.
"Well, so does Zimbabwe, but they don't deserve a baseball team either."
Don't make me laugh out loud in the office! That line was wonderfully played!:)
KC is my guilty pleasure team. I love underdogs. Besdies, the names on that team make them all the more lovable. Not to mention that Meintkiewicz and Grudzielanek have actually been decent for our fantasy team (it's true!).
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