What I learned on my Spring Break

 

As you may have you may have inferred by the presence of guest posters on Sunday and Monday, I was on vacation, and on that vacation, I celebrated a birthday. Steve was there too. It was magical. I was in Southern California, spent some time in Anaheim, some time in Hollywood and I figure you may want to hear some of the tales of the trip. I am here to regale you, chronologically.

 - The flight in wasn't so bad. The guy sharing a row with my from Denver to Los Angeles had a waxed mustache, curled at the ends. Awesome. My rental reservation said I could either get a Kia or a Nissan hybrid. I saved 10 dollars and went with the Kia,, but I think it was lose - lose.

- I got to the hotel and ran into Steve and Mrs. Steve. There was no traffic whatsoever on the way in, but it took me about half an hour to find a parking spot in the hotel parking lot. It was a Kia, it shouldn't have been that hard to find a spot to park.

- Mrs. Steve demanded that we wake up early so we could hit Disneyland early on Saturday, and Steve and I complied. Happiest place on earth! I'm not one for roller coasters, but the Steves rather enjoyed them. Combined, I think the only ride we didn't go on was the Dumbo ride. We even went on the Winnie the Pooh ride. 

- Disneyland was fraught with hipster teenagers. If I never see another kid wearing skinny jeans and Converse shoes, it will be too soon. I feel old.

- The best ride (in my opinion) of the whole trip was the Simpsons' ride at Universal Studios. Universal Studios was also awesome because they sold beer there. 

- In case you didn't read the news, there was an earthquake near Mexicali on Sunday that was felt in Los Angeles. We were on the tram tour of Universal Studios at the time, and ironically, happened to be in the "earthquake scene" for lack of a better term during the quake. We didn't even realize that there was a quake until after the tram tour was finished, and we all got text messages, asking if we felt the quake. I was actually rather upset, because I wanted to feel it. I did feel an aftershock or two. Where? The Hollywood wax museum, after taking a picture with fake Britney Spears.

- The other cool thing about the wax museum was being able to compare my height with that of the stars. Modern celebrities are short, while stars of yore were rather tall. Charlton Heston was a mountain of a man. 

- Like I said, we never would have known there was an earthquake if we hadn't received those texts. Nobody at the park even reacted. They just took it in stride, because it was something they saw every day. Incredible. Of course, when we went to the Block at Orange that night, an outdoor mall, and there was a bit of spit coming from the sky, barely raining, all those little hipsters ran away, screaming in terror. California is a different place.

- As like any place, the Angels had a flyover during the National Anthem. Unlike most other places, the flyover wasn't done by fighters, but rather by a C-130. It wasn't able to climb and had to fly between the tall hotels opposite the 5 freeway.

- On my left at the game was a smug, douchey Twins fan that had moved to Los Angeles and was really only a Twins fan because he was from Minnesota and going to the game was something to do. He was there for about 2 minutes, and constantly asked questions, like "Is the team any good?" and "Who is Delmon Young?"

- On my right was a botoxed, young (?) Anaheim fan who knew all about the Angels (and God bless her for that) but knew very little about the Twins or Minnesota in general. Not only had she never really left California, but the only reason reason she even ever left Los Angeles County was to go to Disneyland or to come to Angels games. She was very nice though, and we chatted for the last few innings. Not only was she unaware that we had a new stadium, but she was also in the dark on the fact that we used to play indoors.

Inevitably, she asked "what they got up in Minnesota?" She had a southern accent, and I didn't understand it. I told her about the Mall of America, snow, and farms. Their version of rural in SoCal is Riverside. 

She then asked me if I went on the Tower of Terror. I did not. "Oh, my 3 year old goes on that!" Great. Then I was asked if I had been to In N Out Burger. I was informed I should have asked for the animal fries. I'll note this for the next time I go to California.

- Blah blah blah, Twins lose.

- As it turns out, I stayed in the Twins team hotel the whole time I was there. After Steve and Mrs. Steve left, I was left to my own devices, and after the game got myself some taquitos and birthday carrot cake. I'll save the most awesome story for the Stache, but I'll just say this: Jesse Crain is a cool dude, and Scott Ullger seems a lot more refined than a third base coach should be. 

- On the flight home, this from Denver to Minneapolis, I sat next to a young lady flying to Minnesota to visit her sister. She happened to have been from southern California too. She asked what they had in Minnesota, and I told her about the Mall of America, snow, and farms. She asked if I went on the Tower of Terror, and I said I didn't. She knew children that went on it. Then I was asked if I had been to In N Out Burger. I was informed I should have asked for the animal fries. Got it. She then asked if we had Chik-fil-a. Not in any part of town you would want to go to, if we do. What about Wendy's? Yes. Minnesota has Wendy's. 

All in all, it was an awesome trip. Be sure to check out the 7th Inning Stache tomorrow, because my Twins at the hotel story is flat out hilarious.