Why do Minnesota sports have to be so BORING?!

In Minnesota, we've been blessed with decent sports franchises, generally getting a team into the postseason every year, be it the Twins or the Vikings or Wild or the Timberwolves (though not lately). Usually, there is one winner somewhere in Minnesota. Even when they are winning, however, the teams are grueling to watch. What does Minnesota have against offense?
The Twins, for example, have emerged as a perennial threat to win the AL Central, thanks to quality pitching and defense. They tend to score runs by accident and prefer it when less than 5 runs a game are scored. Perhaps they worry about paying the price of a baseball if it were to go over the fence?
The Vikings too, would prefer to run the ball and let their defense take over. The component they need, a fgood passing attack, is ignored so the team can add yet another defensive back, because they would prefer that there not be any passing whatsoever in the Dome. Which is awesome, because they always need to worry about the elements affecting their passing game.
The Wild employ the game killing trap defense that slows opposition attacks down while at the same time limits their opportunity to break out on the rush. It should say something that even without their franchise's all time goal leader, they haven't really had a setback in overall team production.
When you get right down to it, the most exciting team to watch might be the Wolves, because at least the opposition can put up 120 points a game. Too bad the NBA sucks.