Sunday, August 20, 2006

How is This Possible?

Things are going pretty OK in the Ryancave. My brother is off to NDSU tomorrow, meaning I get to start showering without stepping over three feet of his wet towels and spent underwear before and after, and I have a fair shot at finding an undrank soda when I make a stop at the fridge. Football season is right around the corner and I am not beholden to any fantasy team (I need a season off). I have a plan for my future, which is nice. And the Twins are in the midst of a playoff chase they have no business being in.
The only things that people who like to pimp the Twins chances like to mention when lauding the teams positives are Johan Santana, Joe Mauer and Francisco Liriano. Well, Liriano went on the shelf and the Twins are STILL in it. Santana and Mauer can't be the only things propping this team up can they? Well, there are three things that it could be, right? Pitching, hitting or coaching? Which of the three is it?
Behind Santana, the Twins have featured what amounts to a 17 man rotation. I don't believe that has ever been employed by a contending team. Pretty soon, they're going to call up Frank Viola for another go around. The only three constants have been Santana, Brad Radke and Carlos Silva. Santana is beyond reproach, but then it gets sticky. Radke's arm is going to fall off. That's barely hyperbole. He has a torn labrum which, in case you didn't know, caused the San Diego Chargers to drop Drew Brees like a frat brother drops advanced physics. Carlos Silva has been equally creaky, throwing a sinker that doesn't really, you know, sink. And then there is a gaggle of youngsters, ruffians and hooligans filling out the rest of the rotation. Surely, a couple will stick for the future, but it makes me feel a bit squidgy seeing them out there every 4th and 5th day. The fact that they are on a shuttle to and from Rochester is all the more unsettling. An elie bullpen can carry the Twins only so far.
So, that means it's the hitting right? Wrong. The Twins have two elite hitters, one skilled hitter and no strictly right handed hitters. Mauer and Justin Morneau are vastly improved and terrifying. Mauer gets on base, and Morneau drives him in. Luis Castillo is a professional slap hitter, much like Ichiro, but without the transcendent, walk on water talent. He does own one of the longest hitting streaks since Dimaggio, and he is one of the Marlins' "Hometown Hero" candidates. After that, to even call the Twins lineup balanced would be like calling Fox's news coverage balanced. Or calling my blog unbiased. Michael Cuddyer, arguably the Twins best righty (although Torii Hunter has been better than expected this season) is hardly a formidable batter, particularly in the cleanup spot. I don't think anyone has said, "he's batting .268! We're screwed!" And then to fill out the rest of the order, you future Lew Ford/Denny Hocking types Nick Punto, Luis Rodriguez, Jason Tyner, Josh Rabe and Lew Ford himself. Jason Bartlett is proving himself to be an effective contact hitter at the bottom of the lineup, so I reserve any negative commentary about him for his leadership skills.
But to have an effective lineup, you need more than four reliable hitters and a pitching staff with a starting rotation in the single digits. So that means the only way we are to cobble together all these wins are the good fundamentals and strategy the Twins manager employs. Well.... probably not. After a few poorly thought out personnel and strategy decisions at the beginning of the year (little stuff, like when to send baserunners, etc, but it piled up) I lost faith in Ron Gardenhire's ability to lead a baseball team. Then he went on this little diatribe about starter Matt Smith: "We expect you to attack the hitters. If they hit you, they hit you, but we're not going to sit there and watch ball one, ball two, ball three." While it's nowhere near John Tortorella's rant on John Grahame in last year's NHL season, disparaging your team's on field/ice/court leader on a given day is a horrible way to inspire team confidence. And the defense is ingrained in the fabric of the Twins organization, not in anything Gardenhire does.
So, that means... it's not anything. Are intangibles really all we have? I mean, you can't really hit a walk-off intangible, or throw a complete game intangible can you?The only intangible I've ever believed in is momentum, but I took that advanced physics class the frat bro didn't. Momentum is mass times velocity. Which the Twins kinda have, I suppose. But that can't be all there is, is there?
A quick check of the standings tells me that in fact, the bigger factor is that the Red and White Sox are tanking. Fast. Mystery solved. -Ryan

1 Comments:

Blogger thisisbeth said...

Ryan, this is easily one of the funniest posts I've ever read ("But to have an effective lineup, you need more than four reliable hitters and a pitching staff with a starting rotation in the single digits." was my favorite line).

However, even with the various hoisery sinking, the Twins still have to be playing solidly to win. You know about momentum and the math, so for the momentum to be a factor, the math has to work out. The frat bro just says, "Hey, it's working. I don't know why or how, but it is" and doesn't worry about why. There might be an error in the equasion, but as long as the math works, they're not going to lose sleep over it.

11:42 AM  

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