What did the 5 fingers say to the face?

True story from Saturday night. I went out for a few drinks with a coworker from Real Job Inc. last night. It was 2 for 1 and the music was good, so me and my buddy were standing near the dance floor, available to dance, but not really busting out the moves. I'm sure you now the mindset. At one point, a girl gets my attention and begins to gesticulate wildly. It's loud and I couldn't tell what she was saying. Her posture said either "hey, I'm here to have a good time, act like a fool with me" or "what the f*k was that?"
The message being conveyed was the latter. Seconds later, she wound up and smacked me right in the face. And she was wearing rings.  I felt every one of them.
Now, this is a pretty funny happenstance, getting smacked in the face for no reason. But then she went and found the bouncers claiming that I had touched her ass (I think, I don't know for sure. Like I said, it was loud). So then the bouncers come over and say "You can't be doing that man"
Doing WHAT?!
"Just don't let it happen again."
WHAT?!?! (Sidebar... the bouncer looked like Knowshon Moreno, mohawk and all)
So, from my perspective, this is what happened. A girl tried to move past me and brushed against me. Instead of saying excuse me, she slapped me in the damn face. From the perspective of everyone else in the bar, I was the dipsh!t that pissed a girl off enough to get slapped and bring out Bouncer Moreno. My night was over.
It was a pretty good allegory for the weekend. 2/4 on my picks. Seth Davis almost nailed the score on the Purdue game. I was getting slapped around all weekend.
Bitches be crazy.