The annotated Ozzie Guillen rant

Here it is again, the reproduced Guillen rant (minus Chicago Tribune text, otherwise reproduced in full) with some notes from me, Ryan. There is a lot to love from this rant, and watching the Twins lose by 11 makes me really want to laugh about something.

For all those people there saying it was my fault about Jim Thome, yes it's my fault. If those people don't like that, (bleep) them. I'm not afraid. I can care less what people think. We're in second place. When Jim Thome was here, we finished third three times out of four years.(1) We went to one playoff because he hit a home run to go to the playoffs. Listen, I don't make that decision, we made that decision. It was hard for me to do this. A lot of people in Chicago talk about Jim Thome. How about J.D.? I think Jermaine Dye did more stuff for the Chicago White Sox than Jim Thome did, with all my respect to Jimbo. What's going on here? I don't get it. Why do people forget about J.D.? People don't even talk about J.D. at all. If Thome was a better player than J.D. for the White Sox, that's the answer. J.D.'s not playing for the Twins.(2) That's it. If (Nick) Punto hit that home run, I might still be crying. Or (Denard) Span. Or (manager) Ron Gardenhire. (3) Jim Thome's hit almost 600 home runs, good for him. (4) Every time we had Jim Thome here, we couldn't play him against the National League. Why won't anybody give me credit for that one? (5) We won 15 games. And Jimbo had one, two at-bats every time we played those guys. And we made this run because we played good against the National League. We got hot then. But I hope he hits another (bleeping) one today. (6) He had all three hits against lefties. Is it my fault we can't pitch against his (rear)? No. (7) Well ... I feel proud of him, to be honest with you. When I see him hit that (ball) out there all the way to the building out there at 98 (mph), I don't see that for the last three years with us. Good for him. A lot of people talk about the home run from Jim Thome. How about the eight or nine runs before that? (8) But that's OK. I'll wear it. I'll take it. (9) I'll take the heat. That's Gardenhire's fault for bringing those guys into pitch (Matt Capps and Jon Rauch). He should have left that guy in that started the game and then we're still playing. (10) I'm not running away from anybody. (11) I don't run from anybody because I sleep very well last night, I played golf this morning. (12) I didn't change anything. I rode my bike, go to sleep and as soon as I'm done with (this game) I'm going to go back to sleep. (13) Same stuff. Because I know my mind, my heart and my soul, they're very clean. (14) I have my head on my shoulders, and I think we did the right thing with what we did in spring training. If people don't like it, good. They don't like it, they don't have to watch the (bleeping) White Sox. (15) Oh and I got one more year on my contract, just make sure to tell Jerry (Reinsdorf), get it ready, this crazy (bleeping) Mexican, it's fine with me. (16) They going to blame me about one home run, I'll take the blame

1) Frankly, it's been a two team race for about the past 8 years, except when the Tigers have a pulse. Unless Thome had something to do with the rise and fall of the Detroit, I'm not sure you can pin everything on him, can you?
2) Fun fact: The rest of the league thought so highly of Jermaine Dye that he doesn't have a job. Also, Thome's career OPS in Chicago was 138, while Dye's was 121. Stats win again!
3) Well, Punto was on the DL, so that would have been really tough, and what's wrong with Span? Is it because he is a lefty too? I mean, Denard Span is pretty good. But yeah, Gardy was a terrible hitter.
4) So hold on... you are trying to say that it wasn't a big deal that Thome was sent out of town because he wasn't very good, but it's also not a big deal that he hit a home run against the Sox be cause he IS very good. I'm just trying to follow the logic of your possibly cocaine fueled rant.
5) I don't think you will get much credit for keeping an old, slow designated hitter on the bench against a league that doesn't allow a designated hitter, no. But did you leave him riding pine on home games against the NL, or did you let Buehrle bat at the Cell too?
6) No you don't
7) It is a little. You're the manager, after all.
8) The Twins had scored 5 runs before Thome's homer. Who's counting?
9) I'm sorry, what will you be wearing? And who are you taking it from?
10) Yeah, I was pretty upset about the irrational decision to pull the starter who had thrown 91 pitches in less than 5 innings and was struggling. Gosh darn it, Gardy! At least let him get to 100! Ok, I'm not really mad. I don't think many people would blame the manager for going to the bullpen if relievers gave up runs more than three innings after the starter was pulled. But sure, Ozzie, Gardy almost blew the game for the Twins.
11) Are you now accusing Gardenhire of ducking criticism for his rash maneuver? Golly, Ron, you're such a baby! Just own up to the fact that you handled the bullpen in a manner almost every other manager in the league would have!
12) Oh yeah? Where'd you go? I just went to Bluff Creek and did pretty good. That 12th hole is a killer.(Wouldn't a foursome with Ozzie be the best?)
13) You could probably use a nap, yeah.
14) It's right about here that I am pretty confident Ozzie Guillen has totally lost his sh*t
15) This is why Ozzie Guillen is NOT in marketing.
16) Ozzie Guillen is not Mexican.