NFL Playoff Time....woo-hoo?

Originally posted on "Is It Sports?" this is another post that we co-wrote. On the original page, the background was green, I wrote in white, and Ryan wrote in "Vikings gold." Since the background on this site is white, I'm writing in black and Ryan in Vikings Purple.

Steve: yeah I'm so apathetic to these playoffs
Steve: I don't really like anyone thats left
Ryan: theres an idea... you could rip every team thats left in the playoffs... i would be amused
Steve: haha
Steve: "why I hate all the teams left"
Ryan: exactly Ryan: although... i get first dibs at the vikings and rams
Steve: haha that's fine

Well the divisional playoffs are here and I couldn't be less excited. I had my hopes riding on 2 teams: The Chargers, because they have Drew Brees and LT, and the Seahawks, because I wanted to see Jerry Rice get one more shot. Now that Marty pulled off his annual choke, and the Seahawks proved they are owned by an 8-8 team, I don't have much left to root for. Here's my breakdown of what I don't like about any of the teams that are left, along with my predictions for this weekend.—Steve

You would think that I would be a little bit happier with the whole situation, what with the Vikings still in the playoffs, and the Colts, local celebrities looking like Hulk Hogan in the 1987 Wrestlemania that is NFL football. Yet I’m not happy. The Vikings, whom I’ve been watching whenever I can all season failed to disappoint me, as is there custom. I bet against them, and they won despite me. The Colts are just annoying if you aren't a Colts fan. In four years of living here, I’ve learned the only thing a Hoosier likes more than ripping their rivals is boasting about their team. Without further ado, here are our thoughts on the remaining teams and the games this weekend. Steve is in white, I am in Vikings gold.—Ryan.

Steelers: These guys have put together a fine season, especially in the era of mediocrity (oh I mean parity) in the NFL. Growing up in a Raiders household, I learned to not like the Steelers at a young age. I'm pretty much impartial to them now, and I like Ben Roetheslseibegeraeraegeerber a lot, but something inside of me kind of wants to see them go down because if they go all the way after a 15-1 season, they'll be placed in the sacred realm of greatest teams of all time, and I just don't think they belong there.

I’m old school. I like the 2-3 zone and lots of passing, very few fast breaks. Fighting has its place in hockey. Pitching wins championships. Our steroided batters of note, Bonds and Giambi, haven't won any rings, last I checked. But that’s for another column. I like the Steelers. They run the ball and play solid defense. Some call it boring, but that’s what old school (or skool, for you new skoolers) is. It’s boring but it’s ultimately effective. I doubt anyone is saying they wish Plaxico Burress had a few more 80 yard receptions.

Jets: I just can't get over this team. I kept asking myself, how do they keep winning like this. The AFC was so competitive this year with so many good teams, and apparently the Jets were one of them. They were very good at doing what other pretty good teams couldn't: beating bad teams. After Pennington's meltdown a few weeks ago, I thought this team would be done for sure, but as I told Ryan the other day, their suck power was no match for Marty's choke power and they got the W in RAINY San Diego in a very bizarre game. I think it ends here

I’ve been on the Jonathan Vilma bandwagon all year. This guy is going to be great. Mark my words. (I know, calling the defensive rookie of the year a “player to watch” is quite a stretch. But just you wait. A few years from now, Vilma will be compared to Ray Lewis, an Mr. R. will be compared to… Mr. T. You heard it here first.)

Steve's Prediction: Steelers 23, Jets 16 (Pennington throws a pick in the end zone as time expires, then stabs 4 members of the New York press after the game)

Ryan’s Prediction: Steelers 27, Jets 6. New York’s… thrilling… attack will be stymied.

Colts: I think this is the bandwagon I'll jump on. If I wasn't currently living in Indiana, I would have been on them from the start. I've loved watching Peyton all season and Marvin Harrison just gets the job done with class (though I loved what Moss did to the Packer fans). My big problem is that I get stuck watching this team every week when sometimes there are much more competitive games on. Like I said, I love watching Manning, but the TV stations in Indy need to implement the "Sorgi Rule." Once Jim Sorgi steps onto the field, the game must immediately be switched.
It bothers me that Dwight Freeney, best DE in the league (I was on his bandwagon too) gets no press, but some jerk-off kicker does. It also bothers me that “Vanderjerk” is the only personality this team has had since Jeff George.

Patriots: This team just looks shaky with all the injuries. I don't care how smart Bill Belichick is (I think ESPN is now claiming that he discovered fire AND invented the wheel). I just don't think they can do it this year. But the NFL must have their team of the decade, and I'm sure the refs will be aware. This time though, I think the Colts are going to get them and shut all the critics up and kick off the most intense rivalry in the NFL for the next 5 years (because the Steelers will go 7-9 next year).

No. It’s not to early to start calling this team a dynasty. And yes, this is the best team we have had in a very long while. This is a team without a major superstar, except maybe Tom Brady, though he isn't even a statistical marvel. Bill Belichick has laid the coaching groundwork for all major team sports. Teamwork! On a team!

Steve's Prediction: Colts 34, Patriots 31 (If it doesn't happen, at least we'll get to see Peyton's "aww dang" face as he rips off his chinstrap)
Ryan’s Prediction: Colts 58, Patriots 35 if the field is clear. Patriots 21, Colts 17 if it snows, rains, there is any wind, Ben Affleck is at the game, a squirrel delays the game for more than 30 seconds, or if anyone on the Colts gets injured. Including Tony Dungy.

Eagles: Eww...is there anything to like about these guys? I’m looking forward to watching them play though after not giving a damn since December 19.

It’s hard to think of anything pertinent to say about the Eagles that doesn't involve Terrell Owens or Campbell’s chunky soup. So I won’t.

Vikings: I'll let Ryan lay into them....

I want to take you back to week 15, the Vikings were in Detroit, and had, of course, allowed the Lions to score a potentially game tying touchdown. Then the long snapper one hopped the ball to the holder, no PAT, game over, Vikings win. I hope, Aaron Brooks, that you realize, that this play is why you aren't in the playoffs. The Vikings are in the playoffs because of a botched extra point by the Lions. THEY WON BY ONE AGAINST THE DETROIT LIONS! And don't even get me started on the jerk players on this team. The fine, decent folks of Minneapolis don't deserve this team in the same way the fine, decent folks of Portland don't deserve the Trailblazers. Randy Moss is an ass, no pun intended (well, maybe a little), Daunte Culpepper is the poorest leader I have ever seen, our top running backs are a guy from Wisconsin who has never shown any signs of production, a druggie named after a Canadian province and a rookie drafted in the 4th round. On the other hand, Mike Tice is 1-0 in the playoffs! His former Phys. Ed. Students are proud, let me assure you.
Steve's Prediction: Eagles 28, Vikings 27 (with the score 28-20, the Vikings will score and Tice will kick the extra point)
Ryan’s Prediction: In a way, it would be cathartic to see the Vikings get thumped. That’s why it won’t happen, at least not until I have faith in them. Vikings 35 Eagles 24

Falcons: As a Niners fan, I still hold a grudge from the Dirty Bird days, but Vick is fun to watch.

Probably my favorite team left in the playoffs, but it goes against everything I stand for. They are the only team I will tolerate reaching the Super Bowl from the NFC, but only because I can’t find anything in particular to squabble with.

Rams: I just hate this team. Mike Martz has an amazing combo of both arrogance and stupidity. He seems like he should be a villain in some dopey kids movie. For a crap 8-8 team beating their crap 9-7 division champ, they get way too much publicity, but the NFC is so weak they could be playing in Jacksonville.

The Rams have found their way into the playoffs once again. They also managed to get to the second round by beating Darrell Jackson and the hapless Seagulls, err… Seahawks.

In a related note, I think their title as the “Greatest Show on Turf” is about to come to an end after the warrants come in and Randy Moss and Onterrio Smith are arrested on field in a home game sometime next season. I’d buy that video.

Steve's Prediction: Falcons 27, Rams 6
Ryan’s Prediction: Falcons 20, Rams 16