Miss Manners

In my life, I’ve been a guest in other team’s ballparks, and I’ve been a host to fans of other team’s in my ballpark. These aren’t official titles. I’ve never walked into the Metrodome with a Ranger’s fan, as a true host, but as someone who is at “home” in my team’s ballpark, ‘host’ seems the best word for it. Thus, I’d like to take this moment to remind people how to act. It’s written in the perspective of baseball, but could easily be translated to any other sport--and any other level of any sport, from little league to major leagues.

You wouldn’t walk into a house for the first time and say, “That’s one ugly choice of color for the walls!” Even if the host has chosen puke green and complimented it with bright pink, etiquette reminds you to just keep your mouth shut. You don’t mention how ugly or untalented or obnoxious the kids are. Sure, if it’s your best friend, you’d probably say something, but if it’s someone you’ve just met…well, Miss Manners reminds you to be polite. Just tolerate it, and don’t come back if you don’t like it.

It all comes down to respect. Respect the other team, respect yourself, and have a good time.

Therefore, there’s no reason to walk into a different team’s ballpark and say how ugly it is, or how bad the home team is. Appreciate the differences from your own preferred ballpark, and appreciate the fact that the other team is a professional team on the same level as your own. When another team shows up in your ballpark, bringing along their fans, appreciate the effort and passion those fans have for their team that brings them from afar. They love their team as much as you love yours.

It doesn’t matter if your team is much better than the opponent. In fact, that’s all the more reason to be respectful. In Kansas City last weekend, some drunk Twins fans were insulting the Kansas City Royals players for no reason. “Alex Gordon? No one’s ever heard of him!” Now, from a Yankees fan, that would at least be justified, because usually everyone has heard of every member of their team (although, to be fair, this week in Minneapolis there were a few names in the line-up I had never heard of before). But, seriously, how many people outside of Twins Territory have heard of Kevin Slowey, who was the pitcher for the Twins that night? It’s not a fair argument to tell the Royals that no one has ever heard of their player when your own line-up isn’t filled with marquee players. Respect that they are professional ballplayers. (By the way, I would’ve been in favor of some Royals fans taunted back, jovially, that no one had heard of Kevin Slowey. As long as it’s kept in the spirit of good fun, it’s all good.)

This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. In the four years I’ve been going to Kansas City, every time I’ve run into Royals’ fans who are polite and knowledgeable. This year’s favorite “taunt” to Twins fans was: “When are you guys going to start spending a lot of money on your team so we have an excuse?” It led to intelligent conversations about things like history, scouting, and luck. We’ve made friendly bets with Royals fans (Wee Sister won a hot dog once, because Pat Neshek’s first pitch at Kauffman was a strike). When we went to check into our hotel, we told the guy we had reservations. He looked at our Twins shirts, laughed, and teased, “Not in those shirts, you don’t!”

Don’t be the obnoxious guest, that when you leave the hosts say, “I hope they never come back!” And don’t be the host that the guests leave and say, “I’m never going there again!” It should be a joy to be a guest in another ballpark. Each one is unique and offers its own quirks, amenities, and style. They should all be appreciated and enjoyed and respected. It takes two sides for the respect. Uphold your end of it, no matter what the other side tries.