Monday, January 16, 2006

This one's dedicated to Bobby Humphrey and Steve Largent

So we're down to 4 teams. I couldn't be more unhappy about this, not because it means the football season is winding down, but because the four teams couldn't be less inspiring. Do the Broncos or Steelers really need to go to another Super Bowl? Why do we have to watch Jake Delhomme or Matt Hasselbeck in a big time game? Yes, read that again. Either Hasselbeck will be in the Super Bowl or Jake Delhomme will be in his SECOND Super Bowl. Facing either Jake Plummer or a guy with 14 letters in his last name. And after two close Super Bowls, we're due for a blow out.

Let's forget that for a moment. Let's try to figure out who will get to the big game. First, from the NFC. Last week, the Seahawks showed some resolve in toughing out the Redskins. Shaun Alexander went down, then Darrell Jackson went down, but the Hawks still pulled it out. It's something I can't remember them ever showing in the past. In addition, Matt Hasselbeck is now officially playoff hardened, and Mike Holmgren has his cocky swagger back. They are going to take on the Panthers who are coming off a game in which they let the Bears score 21 points. The Bears couldn't score 21 points if they were playing the Pitt Panthers, so the vaunted Carolina defense is yet to earn my respect. Additionally, Jake Delhomme, or, as I like to call him, Trent Dilfer part two, is still running the offense. Shaun Alexander, healthy or not, will run all over the Panthers, and the 'Hawks will be playing in Detroit in February.

Now, I think that every time the playoffs roll around, a team just catches on with Lady Luck and she carries them to the promised land. This year, there is no doubt in my mind that that team is the Broncos. Sure, the Steelers beat the Colts, but that was through sheer grit, determination, and a little bit of sluggishness on the Colts' part. Holding an offense like that of the Colts to 3 points isn't lucky; it's good. Now, getting an iffy pass interference call go your way, and having a kicker force a fumble? That's lucky, and that's where the Broncos/Patriots game turned this year. I think the Broncos will defeat the Steelers and take on the Seahawks in Detroit, in February.

So how depressing does that sound? The Broncos and the Seahawks, in Detroit, in February. Be still my heart.

But wait, there is a lot of potential there, if you get by the fact that this going to be a terrible game. Remember when these guys used to play each other twice a year? Remember John Elway in the Kingdome? It happened, don't block it out of your memory. I think that seeing these two teams on the field playing each other will play out kind of like how a meeting at a 5 year high school reunion goes between two former acquaintances who were never close, but still felt the need to reminisce. Allow me to demonstrate, using Bill and Ted as our former high schoolers and Mike Holmgren and Mike Shanahan at media day.

Bill: So, you still dating that Jessica chick?
Ted: No man, but she was pretty awesome. [wistful] Still miss her, but I guess she moved on in life. Now I'm with this new girl. We're doing all right. What about you, you know what's up with Rebecca?
Bill: Haha! She's probably in jail! Yeah, I'm with this new girl, Sandra, she's awesome. I might propose to her.
[uncomfortable silence]
So, I'm living in a new house.
Ted {lying}: Too bad, we had some great parties at the old place....

Now, at media day.
Holmgren: So, you still got that Elway guy?
Shanahan: No, man, but he was pretty awesome. [wistful] Still miss him, but I guess he moved on in life. I've got a new quarterback, we're doing all right. What about you, you know what's up with Ricky Watters?
Holmgren: Haha! He's probably in jail! Yeah, I've got this new back, Shaun, he's awesome. I might get him a long term deal.
[uncomfortable silence]
So, we've got a new stadium.
Shanahan {lying}: Too bad, we had some great games in the Kingdome...

So there you have it, the most awkward Super Bowl of all time. I think if it happens, the Seahawks should wear those old blue uniforms while the Broncos break out the orange. We could have Dave Krieg fumble the coin toss, only to have Steve Atwater jump on it. Yeah... That would be awesome.

Ok, now I'm ready for the Super Bowl.

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